PFLAG Families Get Out the Vote with Filmmaker Nick Oceano

What started by one mother showing her unconditional love and support for her gay son turned into the creation of the first and largest organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) people, their parents and families, and allies. PFLAG, now in its fifth decade, has grown to over 400 chapters and 200,000 members and supporters crossing multiple generations of families in major urban centers, small cities, and rural areas across America.  PFLAG has become one of the first resources for parents of an LGBTQ family member to come out.   

PFLAG National has joined the quarantine digital revolution by partnering with Latinx and queer filmmaker, Nick Oceano, to launch the “I’m Voting Because” film project to get out the vote.  The film features several families representing the diverse spectrum of voters from communities across the country.  During these moving vignettes, families share their stories, their motivation to vote, their plan to vote, and urge viewers to join them in making a plan, too.  The pandemic has impacted how voting will occur this year. Already, transgender and HIV+ individuals and their loved ones have expressed fears about voting in person during a pandemic, as well as concerns about obtaining identification at a time when many government offices have been closed. Through the PFLAG Votes 2020 initiative, the community is emphasizing that voters make a plan to vote. 

Los Angeles-based filmmaker Nick Oceano previously directed LAS FAMILIAS DE PFLAG EN ESPAÑOL for PFLAG and has written, directed, and produced award-winning films, worked in television, and produced and directed documentaries, music videos, and commercials over the past fourteen years. 

His 2008 feature debut, “Pedro”, the MTV biopic about AIDS activist Pedro Zamora, has played around the world, including the prestigious Toronto and Berlin Film Festivals. The film, penned by Dustin Lance Black (“Milk”) was nominated for the 2009 Humanitas Prize, a 2010 WGA Award, and a 2010 GLAAD Award.  He teaches film at California State University Long Beach and recently wrote and directed the pilot episode for the successful TV web series “Falling for Angels: Boyle Heights” (HERE TV) which had over 2 million viewers. 

We chatted with Nick about working with PFLAG, his experience with being gay in the Latin community, and independent filmmaking in the LGBT community.   

How did you get first become involved with PFLAG? 

It was a bit of serendipity. Brian Bond, Executive Director of PFLAG National, was familiar with my feature film, “PEDRO”, an MTV biopic I directed about HIV Activist Pedro Zamora. PFLAG was looking for a filmmaker to shoot a short documentary on the Spanish-language chapter of PFLAG en Espanol. Liz Owen, Director of Communications, knew me indirectly through a mutual friend who would throw B-movie nights. She asked that mutual friend if I’d be open to talking to her about shooting a Spanish-language short for PFLAG. As my Spanish is terrible, I tried to suggest Native Spanish speaking filmmakers. But she insisted on at least speaking to me. When I heard her passion for PFLAG and the story she wanted to tell, and that Brian was a fan of my work, I knew that I had to make it work. So, I hired a translator and all almost all Spanish-speaking crew and we shot a lovely PFLAG film that premiered last year during Latino Heritage Month. 

The PFLAG Votes campaign came my way because in June, after the BLM protests, I was trying to figure out how to do something practical on a political front to help the queer and BIPOC communities. So, I reached out to Brian, a former Obama Administration official, and asked him to connect me with anyone who could use me to help get out the vote. I offered my services as a filmmaker and PFLAG responded by pitching me the PFLAG Votes campaign. As someone who considered going into politics in my 20s, I jumped at the chance to do something proactive geared toward encouraging others to vote which was aimed at LGBTQ+, BIPOC voters, and their allies. 

There still is many members and allies of the LGBT community not registered to vote. Why do you think that is? 

I don’t want to make blanket statements about any particular community, but my gut says it’s because many non-voting queer people are one of the following camps: 1) they aren’t educated about what’s going on politically in the world 2) are in such a privileged position that that aren’t impacted by the current administration’s destructive policies /actions toward LGBTQ+ and BIPOC communities, so they don’t care to vote… which means they don’t care about others who suffering or 3) they don’t grasp the power of their vote and feel that voting won’t change anything. They are wrong. I believe only 58% of the US population voted in 2016. If only 1%-2% more people voted, we would have a different administration in power today, and we wouldn’t be suffering in the way we are today. 

What did you learn most from the families you interviewed? 

I attended a PFLAG meeting as a scared, young, 21-year-old back in San Antonio, Texas. While there was definitely a lot of support in the room that day, what I’ve noticed in interviewing parents today is the fierce devotion that they have to not only support their children but to understand their children and their needs. I got choked up so many times witnessing the pure love these parents have for their children. It was quite inspiring, and it was such much-needed light in the dark days of this past summer. 

What are some of the most important issues at stake for the LGBT community in terms of the next election? 

With RBG’s recent passing and the possibility of another conservative judge being installed in her place, our very sense of equality and safety is on the line. As a non-lawyer, I can’t speak to what LGBTQ+ rights can be rolled back, but considering the current administration’s ruthless attack of queer and BIPOC people, I wouldn’t put it past them to go after marriage equality and other rights the queer community has gained in the last decade. 

How have you been affected by this current political administration? 

I have two gay brothers in San Antonio. I fear for their safety. My younger brother is a nurse and he has actually been turned away by a patient because he was Latino. That same brother cannot walk down the street holding his husband’s hand without fearing he will be attacked or murdered. That is the world we live in still. Unless we get out more people to vote, things will get worse for my brother and all queer people. I have also severed contact with half my family who is revealed themselves to be closet homophobes and racists and I know, at least among my friends, this is not a rare occurrence. Trump did not create racism or homophobia, but he normalized it and to witness the number of racists/homophobes who have come out of the woodwork has been terrifying and disheartening. 

What was your coming out story? Was your family supportive? 

Well, I am the oldest of three gay sons. (My Latina mother was thrilled about that LOL). I was the last to come out back in the late 90s. My brothers paved the way for me and I wasn’t very close to my family at the time, so I have to say I didn’t struggle as much to come out, especially since I moved to L.A. to attend school at USC. I was a closeted, tortured gay Mexican American kid who grew in San Antonio, so by the time I got to college I was ready to “be super gay”, whatever that meant. What happened instead was I became a Christian who was groomed to become a Christian minister while a student at USC. (A cute guy invited me to church and I just stuck around.) But ultimately, that was not the path for me and when Ellen DeGeneres came out, I was inspired to do the same and I have not looked back. Now, my parents are very accepting, but I have to say that since Trump was elected, half of my family has revealed themselves to be closet homophobes and racists so I in effect lost half my family overnight. I have not talked with many of them in four years and I do not know that I ever will. It’s heartbreaking, but I realized a long time ago that I could not truly love myself as a person, as a gay man, if I let myself be “tolerated”. I will not make myself small to share the space with someone. That is not equality. My family now is my parents, some loving cousins, some wonderful aunts and uncles, and my chosen family in Los Angeles, which includes my wonderful partner, Jack, and my wonderful circle of friends.

You are also a member of the Latino community – a community where homosexuality is not often talked about…have things been changing in the Latino community towards more acceptance and open conversation regarding the LGBTQ community? 

That is an interesting question. I grew up around the machismo and homophobia that is typical in most blue-collar communities. I think because I passed as straight and tried my best to be invisible, I was never on the receiving end of much bullying or violence toward me because I was gay, and for that I am grateful. I know many of my gay peers did not have that experience and that angers me and breaks my heart. I do feel that there is more acceptance of LGBTQ+ lifestyles in the Latino community and I can only speak for what I’ve witnessed back in my hometown of San Antonio. But also, I teach film students who are in their late teens, early twenties, many who are BIPOC, and it seems that, at least with these younger generations, someone’s sexuality doesn’t seem to be an issue at all. I recall one straight Latino teenager who was working on a film who could not find a male and female actress to be in his film, so he cast two males. He simply said, “love is love” and proceeded with making his film with two guys in the leads. That was that. I think that’s the vibe I get from younger generations – “love is love” and they’re concerned about more pressing things like the end of civilization as it is currently collapsing. [Laughs] 

You have been an avid LGBTQ storyteller for years, even before gay-themed films were as accepted as they are today. Did you ever think that perhaps making LGBTQ related films would limit your career? 

Honestly, I didn’t have a choice but to be an “out” filmmaker back in 2005 when I started making films because back then, when I was in my mid-20s, I had lived in that dank, dark lonely closet for so long I couldn’t imagine stepping back into for more second, even if it limited my career choices. But also, the films that I wanted to write and direct were so personal and they often dealt with queer and Latino characters, so it honestly never was a decision I had to make. I suppose it may have limited my career options initially, but I had to get those gay stories out of my system and they’ve pointed the direction to my current body of work, which tends to not deal with LGBTQ+ identity, and is more focused on the Latino-American and the universal human experience. Currently, I’m working in the elevated horror, comedic drama, and thriller genres with my feature scripts, and there’s very little exploration of queer themes, however, every project of mine has a gay sensibility and they all have lead gay characters. Their sexualities happen to be incidental, which mirrors my view of my own sexual identity. I love being gay, but it’s incidental to the many others aspects of who I am – a partner, a son, a brother, a friend, a storyteller, an activist, a teacher… a spiritual human being who’s just trying to have the most whole, fulfilling experience while being alive on this planet. 

How has independent LGBTQ filmmaking changed the most over the years? 

Oh, boy, that is a big question. I’ll say top of my head, what’s lovely to see is that we’ve largely moved past coming out stories and most of the gay films that I see or which grab my attention, yes, have gay leads, but they focus on more universal experiences. “Call Me By Your Name” for example, technically is a coming-out story, but it instead felt more like a ravishingly romantic story about first love that audiences of any sexuality could relate to. And what is great about the digital revolution is that so many queer filmmakers can pick up a camera and tell their unique stories, which has allowed for more diversity in the stories we see. 

Your debut project, Pedro, was quite ambitious. What did you learn most about filmmaking from that project? 

I recall that everyone involved truly viewed it as a passion project. Pedro Zamora inspired everyone in a very personal way and that created a certain vibe on set. It was a set full of heart and devotion to telling an important story. As it was my first film as a director, it left an indelible mark on me. It showed me that you could make films with heart and be unapologetic about it, something I have carried into my current work. I also had the benefit of my mentors at the time, Wash Westmoreland, and the late Richard Glatzer (“Still Alice”, “Quinceanera”) who brought me on to the project as the director. They mentored me and put me in this baptism by fire experience of working with a big studio and it was the perfect introduction I needed to start my career. They also modeled for me the importance of mentoring young filmmakers, which I do consistently to this day. 

What kind of stories do you want to tell most? 

I am a Spielberg baby – I loved his films because they entertained me and whisked me away from the real world. And yet they were very personal. I have a similar sensibility with the scripts I am working on now. I happen to be working in the horror genre playground right now, partnering with my buddy Jeffrey Reddick (creator of the “Final Destination” franchise) to work on some scripts that use the trappings of the genre to comment on bigger issues like race, family and, yes, sexuality. I thank Jordan Peele for breaking down some walls and showing that elevated horror can both grapples with important issues but also be big entertaining crowd pleasers. 

What can the LGBTQ entertainment community do the most to promote positive representation in the mainstream media? 

I think they can try to create opportunities for young filmmakers to be able to make their way up the ladder so that they can be producers, showrunners, directors, etc. We get poor representation on screen because we have non-queer people telling our stories. We need to tell our own stories. Queer people need to first be in the room as a project comes together. If that happens, then there will be more of a likelihood of accurate and positive presentations of LGBTQ+ people because it won’t be left to non queer decision-makers to guess (often inaccurately) what a queer character should and could be. 

How has the digital age changed the independent film scene? 

I think the digital revolution has equipped almost anyone with a passion and drive to become a filmmaker to make a film. Look at the fantastic “Tangerine” which launched Sean Baker’s career – it was shot on iPhone 6s and it emotionally expansive as any big studio film, perhaps even more so. So, I think that digital filmmaking has created a more egalitarian playing field for queer filmmakers. That said, it is still extremely hard for a queer filmmaker and their films to be discovered, so I think we have a way to go as a society to truly embrace queer cinema/queer filmmakers. 

What future projects are you working on? 

I’m working on a few feature scripts in the horror/action/drama genres, as well as a few TV pilots. I’m also working on an LGBTQ+ love story set in Puerto Rico. 

Additional resources and information about the 2020 election can be found at PFLAG.org/pflagvotes2020. 

You can follow Nick Oceano on Instagram: @Nicko_76 and his website:  www.NickOceano.com