Advice from an Idiot Launch

My Darling Ducks, 

Thank you so much for writing in, to our maiden voyage of “Advice from an Idiot” with GED Magazine! Keep those questions coming, and I will get to them all! Loved this month’s questions that came in, but these two really got me thinking! Let me know what YOU think as I dish out wisdom like ranch dressing on pizza crust…God I want pizza…

Dear Idiot, 

Love your Instagram and love your organic videos of giving “Zero Fucks.” I wanted some advice on how to handle a situation that came up recently…

An older friend was at my apartment and went to use my bathroom. I had left my PrEP bottle on the counter, when my friend came out of the bathroom, he said something to the effect like, “Oh someone’s been whoring it up…” I was caught off guard, like, “What did I leave in my bathroom?” He went on to say he saw my prep bottle and that it was the pill for sluts. WHAT!? He is in his early 40’s and went on to speak about the AIDS epidemic and losing friends, and that PrEP was just an excuse for noncommittal sex with strangers. I really was surprised; I hadn’t really heard anyone express this. I wasn’t sure how to handle it, and it’s put a bit of a riff in the friendship. Any advice please! 

Thanks so much.

          -PrEPing in NOHO 

Hi PrEPing in NOHO!

I was also like “WTF” when I read your situation. There is a lot to unpack here! For starters, slut shaming is part of the internalized homophobia that so many people face, by others who don’t really deal with their own feelings. I don’t want to generalize and say there is a lot of it with ‘gays of a certain age,” however…there is a lot of it with gays of a certain age. I have had some friends crack jokes about PrEP, saying “hookers like me should take two pills” (obviously a joke since I am a Ladee and a soccer Mom), but yes, some gay men feel like PrEP minimizes the plight of the aids epidemic and there is this awful feeling of having lost so many people and now there is this magic pill to stop it. Not to mention the guilt for outliving so many dear friends. Maybe this is what your friend is feeling. The only real way to combat this is with facts and a calm retort, neither of which I have, but you could try it. I tend to YELL!  PrEP has helped many people and will continue to be something for anyone who is an advocate for their own health, and it’s my hope WE ALL ARE. PrEP helps saves lives, and at the end of the day, it’s your choice and if it works for you, great! Maybe also remind your friend, that judging others causes lines in the face… that’ll show ‘em! Do what works for you, free of judgment from others and listen to your own heart.  My other piece of advice is don’t bring chili to an orgy. I’ve made that mistake, twice.

XO

-The Advice Idiot

Hey Idiot, 

Every time my roommate’s straight sister comes to town, she goes off the rails. I get it, she’s a mom, and doesn’t get a lot of free time, but when we go out for drinks or dinner, it’s like balls to the wall drinking and hanging on gay guys, and just getting messy. I’ve tried talking to my roommate about it, but he just shrugs it off as ’She’s blowing off steam.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a good time, but it’s embarrassing and messy. What do you think?

Hey Sis in Syracuse

Hey Sis in Syracuse, 

Question… do you have any chloroform? Kidding kidding! Sidebar, UGH, that sounds exhausting! I get it, being a mom is full time job and who doesn’t like to just let loose, but honestly (and I see this a lot working in nightlife), if your roommate isn’t willing to handle his sister and explain to her that sometimes she’s a “bit much,” I would say you need to set a solid boundary for yourself, and remove yourself from the situation, when she reaches that point in the night. You don’t have to subject yourself to that kind of babysitting. No thank you! I’m guessing you want to keep the peace at home, so, go have fun with your roommate and, when Sis starts trying to make out with the gay bartender, have a nice Irish Goodbye. Hope this helps! 

XO

-The Advice Idiot

Write in kids! I love hearing about the drama mama out there in the world! Send your email to theadviceidiot@gmail.com and look out for answers in the next publication of GED Magazine! Please stay safe and have fun!