The importance of PRIDE

June is the month that the LGBTQ+ community gets to celebrate WHO THEY ARE! Now, if you ask me, I hope that everyone celebrates who they are every day of the year, and not just for 30 days. I am reminded, during this time of the year, why it is so important to celebrate PRIDE!!

I was born in Morro Bay, California where I grew up on a 20-acre ranch, 3.5 miles out of town. Neighbors were far and few between in that “country life” and I am so grateful for the upbringing of love and acceptance that was shown to me from my family. I was born this way, and gay from birth. I always like to say that I came out of the womb with a love of showtunes and anything sparkly, which is the ABSOLUTE truth. I lived in a little bubble growing up until I was 6 years old. My Grandmother, bless her heart, taught me many things at an early age that were not the norm for most little boys growing up. Fishing, playing sports, and the rest of the “masculine” things that our society has taught us to encourage the male species to do, were not on the list.

Bullying started on the very first day of kindergarten. I remember being in absolute shock when my lunch box was stolen and smashed, and the comments started from my peers that were so unkind. I had no idea that something was wrong with me or that I was different, until the other kids started making fun of me. Here was this little boy who was living his life enjoying all the things that brought him JOY. This set a course of incessant ridicule for 12 years and drilled in me the negative core beliefs that I still carry around with me to this day. Back in those days, there were no Gay Alliance Groups or any kind of support for children who were “different.” I remember a few teachers that had my back during my time in the public school system, but there was a genuine lack of support or protection from my peers, who made my daily life a living hell.

I fled to San Francisco the minute I graduated high school in the early ‘90s, because I knew there were other gay people there. My life suddenly blossomed because I was FINALLY around people who were like me! I was like a deer in headlights seeing all those creative fabulous queer folk. It was nirvana for me. Although it wasn’t all glitter and unicorns because drugs and partying came along with some of those people, and I dove right into that because, guess what, I wanted so badly to belong.

I started doing drag professionally in San Francisco. To be honest, I had been dressing up in my mom’s clothes and heels behind closed doors from an early age. Drag gave me the ability to be free from ridicule and create a fearless persona that enabled me to navigate the world. It allowed me to be someone else, as I couldn’t be comfortable in my own skin.

Fast forward to 2022. Here I am, a queer sober man, a drag queen, and a fluid individual that is in touch with his masculine side as well as his feminine side. Years of therapy and work on myself has gotten me to this stage in life. I would like to tell all the readers that I’m 100% confident being me all the time, but that is not the case. Some days, I get up and nothing can stop me! But other days, I still have those feelings of being less than or not good enough, which were told to me at age six. The drag has changed too! I no longer hide behind my drag persona. It is now a venue for me to spread JOY to others and use it as a vehicle to bring laughter and fun to the world, because we truly need more of that these days.

I am hopeful that things are easier these days for anyone who is trying to be their authentic self and that kids have support in school now. I see the younger generation, and I have so much hope for the future. The lines are finally blurred between what the societal norms of what is considered masculine and feminine.

When I tune into the news, which I try not to, I see the rights of my trans brothers and sisters being ripped away, and don’t even get me started about the “Don’t Say Gay” bill in Florida. Things may be better in some areas of acceptance, but there is still work to be done.

By celebrating Pride Month, we are all saying that we belong here and that the sun does shine for us all. We simply will not be erased or told that we do not belong.

If I were able go back and tell my six-year-old self anything, it would be: YOU MATTER, YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED, and YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! I say this to you too, because we all need to be lifted up and believe in ourselves.

I hope that you celebrate yourself for the next 30 days and keep doing so well after June 30^th!! Be kind to yourself, be kind to others, and LIVE YOUR LIFE AUTHENTICALLY without any apologies!!

Love and Pride ALWAYS,

ETHYL