Summertime Lovin

Hot sweaty nighttime summer sex is what summer is all about. The heavy air brings out your sexual prowess which is very primitive and embedded deep into our reptilian brain. There is nothing sexier than being in the moment, doing it in a pool or in the backyard or finding a little private spot behind a restaurant and just go at it like animals.

But some men (and women) don’t always feel able to carry this act out. In their heads they are wanting to release that inner sex beast but have reservations. Some reasons are simple to address like not being confidant in your body and others carry a much heavier weight like, “I don’t know when to tell my lover I have an STI/STD.” And of course, there is everything in between. 

Let’s try addressing the simplest, “I’m not confidant in my body.” I have had every kind of client, from rock star and award-winning actor to contractor and deli clerk, and every single one has had some sort of confidence issue around sex and their body. One of the easiest issues and most common is around hygiene. In the summertime it is better to do some sort of trimming or man-scaping down below. This way, the sweat doesn’t stay there in the hairs and cause odor. But if you do this, be aware that the sweat can transfer to your clothes or stay on your body, therefore you need to make sure that you wipe things down periodically. And don’t think that if you hop in the pool that you’re getting a bath. Taking showers in the morning and at night really does assist in this area and will give you the confidence that you are ready to get laid at any time. Seems like such a simple thing to do, but not everyone does it.

Another issue that arises is how to tell your partner that you have a STI/STD. This is always uncomfortable when you really just want to get laid with no strings attached. But remember to treat others like you want to be treated. So, it is best to always tell upfront. The majority of the time people will not reject you and will in fact, appreciate your honesty. (Having a condom or a dental dam with you is always a good idea.) The best way to bring the subject up if you’re getting hot and heavy, is to simply take a breath and say, “Hey, can we really quickly talk about STI’s. I have XYZ what about you?” The more you do it, the easier it gets and it needs to happen with every new partner.

Lastly, if you’re not feeling confident about how you look, especially in the not so forgiving bright sunlight, then get into some sort of workout routine. It doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as easy as a 30-minute walk in the morning, taking Pilates a few times a week, or joining a gym and committing to several session with a trainer per week. Whatever works for you that you enjoy, is what you need to do. You will be releasing your endorphins which will make you feel better mentally and physically. This is not a quick overnight fix. But the first step is usually the hardest one. As a certified hypnotherapist, during a session I will usually ask my weight-loss clients to visualize themselves six months from now, looking into a mirror and having done everything we have spoken about during that session. It can be something simple – like only drinking one day a week; or it can be more hard-core – like a complete diet overhaul. But whatever you commit to, do it! It is life changing and you will have gobs of more confidence which will lead to better sex.

Remembering that we all have our own insecurities will also help you feel more confident in your body and perhaps be a little bit kinder to others. Have fun during these beautiful hot sexy months and be safe. If you have any questions you can email me at Laura@PrimitiveBalance.com