Stan Zimmerman’s Debut Memoir Goes Beyond ‘Golden Girls’ ‘Gilmore Girls’ and ‘Roseanne’

Despite his youthful appearance and exuberant energy, Stan Zimmerman has been an active member of the entertainment industry for almost four decades. As a writer, he’s worked on some of the most history-making television shows. Golden Girls (the debut season), Gilmore Girls, and Roseanne…he’s worked on them all, and boy, does he have stories. He’s talked before about his experience working on all three shows, but that barely scratches the surface. Now, ready to tell his complete story, his debut memoir The Girls: From Golden to Gilmore, hit shelves this month. The tagline reads, “Stories about all the wonderful women I’ve worked with…and Roseanne.” Readers wanting a juicy tell-all will get that, and a whole lot more.

Stan’s memoir is more than a Hollywood tell-all. Not even through the first few pages and you know this one’s different. The memoir is funny, touching, at times heartbreaking, and surprisingly enough, serves as a life guide in keeping up the good fight, following your passion in the face of adversity, and dealing with grief. Peppered in are enough Hollywood tales to keep your mouth watering, but there is so much more. I’ve known Stan for years and was still taken aback by the reality of what he’s worked through to get where he is. This is Stan at his own intimate. Did he have any trepidation and sharing his personal life in such a big way?

Anyone who’s seen me perform as The Narrator in my suicide awareness play, Right Before I Go, will have seen that side before. People may know me as “the funny writer guy,” but in the play, I delve into the pain of being bullied as a teen, and not wanting to go on living.  With the book, I was able to be more intimate in my work, because I wrote it in the first person. I’m not hiding my emotions behind any character. Although I can be “devastated, just devastated” just like Blanche Devereaux.

Stan’s fascination with entertainment started as a kid. In his basement, he created his own fake network complete with starring shows for Lily Tomlin, evening talk shows, commercial breaks, and more. His writing skills began when he started writing for his school newspaper, about entertainment, of course. His pre-Hollywood writing days inexplicably include Andy Warhol at Studio 54, appearing in ballet on Broadway with Rudolph Nureyev, allegedly flirting with Tom Cruise on set, driving cross country to Los Angeles, and more. Trust me, you must read all about it.

His memoir is aptly titled The Girls, but it is not just about the stars from his lead shows. His female relationships have popped up anywhere from the writer’s room, after parties, and sets and include special appearances by celebs Sandra Bernhard, Allee Willis, and Mindy Sterling, just to namedrop a very few. In all his projects, he’s striven to write strong female parts and captures their strength, beauty, and humor in all of his work.

I have always been drawn to women. Since I was a kid.  Their warmth, sensitivity, and ability to express themselves. I also feel like the one part of my body that is female, is my heart. That may sound strange, but I’ve been told that’s the one commonality in my work, it has heart.

The top leading lady in his memoir is his mother. She, along with his grandmother and sister, laid the solid foundation for the man Stan is today. Stan’s mother plays a part throughout the book, coincidentally taking on aspects of the characters we see in The Golden Girls. Being a gay momma’s boy is definitely a thing, and in Stan’s case, it was a beautiful thing.

My mother taught me so many things, it could fill an entire new book. She knew to celebrate and support my uniqueness at an early age, especially my love for theatre and dance. Whether it was taking me to plays, concerts, and art museums early and often in my life. She was also smart to hide my ballet shoes from my father so that the first time he saw me in them was on stage with an audience enjoying my performance. And I love that she introduced me to indie movies, including the life-changing Next Stop, Greenwich Villagedirected by Paul Mazursky.

PHOTO BY STEPHEN JERROME

Handled in a beautifully nuanced way, Stan details the decline of his mother and her passing. Celebrating the joy of her life over grief, Stan shares that spirit that has kept him in the entertainment race. Unfortunately, loss has been a constant companion for Stan. Loss due to suicide, dementia, cardiac arrest – it has run the gamut.

The honor of growing older is losing those you love along the way. Sometimes it hurts so much because you cared so much.  But I think it’s important to appreciate that we allowed ourselves to open our hearts to that person and have many beautiful, shared memories. I also just realized that with so many close people in my life no longer here on this planet, they must be up there, plotting and planning things for me here on Earth. Why else would I be experiencing all these dreams of mine suddenly coming true?

The Golden Girls was one of the first jobs to put Stan’s career on the map. Some of the show’s favorite lines that continue to be recited and made into memes came from Stan and his writing partner James Berg. Two newbies to the business, they certainly had to earn their place at the table, even if, at times, there was no room being made there. The two earned a WGA nomination for the episode “Blanche and the Younger Man.” Not all roses, their experience with Golden Girls was rocky but successful. Besides their being part of TV history, one of the best aspects was forging a special relationship with Estelle Getty. Fans of the Golden Girls will love the behind-the-scenes aspects, how the shows were written, how the ladies acted on set, and what a day of taping was like, it’s all there. Even while basking in the success of the show, Stan had to hide his sexuality. At the height of the AIDS epidemic, jokes and ill-informed comments were being made in the writing room. At the risk of his career, Stan’s personal life had to remain hidden. Even though Golden Girls wasn’t the ideal environment, Stan continues to celebrate his role in creating the show (coming up with St. Olaf) by making appearances at conventions, themed cruises, and events.

I think it’s important not to sugarcoat our work experiences. I also think you can hold two thoughts at one time. While Golden Girls was a dream job, it was also fraught with feelings of inadequacy and not being appreciated for how hard we were working and all the contributions we were making. This kind of work environment was repeated on the original Roseanne show. This is why we quickly grew tired of the grind of making a sitcom series. But also, so grateful to be a small part of history-making television.

Unlike actors, writers are rarely recognized, so we don’t naturally get to hear how our work affected people. I’ve been lucky to go on multiple Golden Fans at Sea cruises and attend both Golden Cons in Chicago. There I’ve heard the sweetest stories of what the show meant to the fans. I especially appreciate how it was a bonding experience for many kids and their grandparents. I’ve also met some amazing Gilmore Girls fans at the annual Fan Fest Society every fall back east. So many of these fans have become my chosen family in this changing world where I often feel isolated and alone.

As time went on, society started to change, and being gay was not the absolute stigma it was. Stan felt the courage to live his truth.

I had come out to family and friends, and I could feel the world starting to change. I wanted to finally live authentically and not have to hide who I was at work. I also knew that we were being lauded for our quirky POV in our writing and that was in large part due to us growing up as closeted gays. So, we were naturally outside observers of life. We just decided to use all we were seeing and put that down in words and pictures.

Greta Garbo Goes from History to Home

Reading his memoir is also like reading a guidebook to the world of screenwriting. Not only do many working screenwriters never see their scripts come to fruition, but there are the writing “odd jobs” such as script fixers, story treatments, punch-ups, ghostwriting, and writing on spec that often come without credits or appreciation. Stan once had to work in an almost broom closet. Stan details the tough times as well as the good times. Periods of time between big-name projects when nothing seemed to take, projects that were on the brink of being made just to be shut down, it’s all there. A few times Stan felt defeated to the brink of giving up. But he didn’t.

Another thing my Mom taught me. She’d say, “What choice do you have?” What she meant by that was, you have a given set of facts of a situation. You can’t fight that. But what are you going to do about it? Don’t wallow. Be pro-active. And learn from that situation. Keep moving forward. Luckily, I’ve had a great writing partner in Jim Berg. Over our many years together, we pull each other out of moments of self-doubt and despair. Oddly, I’ve never been able to find that level of honesty and intensity in a love relationship. For some reason, that still eludes me.

Looking back at his career, what has been a personal triumph?

I think it was many years ago when I figured out how to truly live in the moment. To not get stuck in the past or the future. And most importantly to wipe fear off the table. That has enabled me to ride the waves of a long career, to constantly stay engaged and to continually re-invent myself while I explore new and meaningful ways to use my craft of creativity.

His most enjoyable writing project?

Hands down writing both Brady Bunch movies. It used every part of my being. From the silly to the smart side.  And everything in between. We also got to push the envelope of queerness in a mainstream piece of popular entertainment. I think that’s why those movies still resonate today. We still want to make The Brady Ladies as a streaming series. The three actors from the film would star as the famous sisters who finally move out of their house to a condo in West Hollywood. It’s 2024, but they’re stuck in 1995, the year the movie was released.

Always wanting to challenge himself, Stan wanted more. Stan returned to his roots in the world of theatre by directing and writing plays, some of which have recently received their first publication after a series of successful runs. Along with his comedic works, Stan has been able to expand his reach and use theatre to make change.

I’ve always been sensitive to the feelings of others. When I see people hurting, I hurt. That’s why in the last few years I’ve devoted so much of my theatre work to marrying art and advocacy. I’ve been producing and directing a LatinX production of The Diary of Anne Frank. We’ve had eight iterations of the show since 2018. And since 2015, I’ve been presenting (and now performing in) my suicide awareness play, Right Before I Go, all over the United States. It helps me heal, but it’s also powerful to provoke discussions about important topics such as immigration, antisemitism, and mental health.

Stan’s memoir is a complete package, there’s something for everyone, and depending on where your mind is, there’s some rather good advice or a story that can fit many scenarios. What does Stan want readers to get most out of his book?

I want people to read my book and feel like we’ve been gabbing over a nice cup of hot coffee. Or a crisp glass of Rose. Or better yet, a delicious Ciroc martini. The book has a very conversational tone to it. I share the highs and lows of my work and personal life. And yes, names are dropped. But that’s only because those are the artists that I’ve been lucky to work alongside for so many years. In the end, they’re just people like you and me. People with struggles. And I share how I maneuvered through those.

This month, Stan opens his latest directed show, Paul Rudnick’s The New Century at the Bent Theatre Company in Palm Springs. Like Stan, Paul has been writing themes for our community for a long time.

Paul Rudnick is a writer I’ve admired for years, ever since I started reading his hysterical movie reviews he penned under the pseudonym Libby Gelman-Waxner.  Then I was introduced to his brilliance through his plays Jeffrey and The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told. Most people know him from his many screenplays, such as In & Out, Stepford Wives, and Addams Family Values. He’s so smart and I couldn’t be more thrilled to introduce this play to residents and visitors to the Coachella Valley.

With so much Stan has contributed to the entertainment industry and our community, what legacy does he want to leave behind?

I’m so fortunate in that my work can and does live on. I’ve seen so many generations come along and they still recite lines I wrote from our TV shows and movies. It’s just as important to make people think as it is to laugh. If you can do both.

And Stan’s message to his fans?

Keep dreaming and laughing.  And taking action. Keep your eyes open to all that’s happening in the world. And don’t be afraid to call out injustice when you see it!

Follow everything Stan at Zimmermanstan.com.  The Girls: From Golden to Gilmore is now available.