Royalty is a Mindset

You may be familiar with Prince Joshua from his social media, his presence in LGBTQ nightlife, his appearance on Jonny McGovern’s GoGo for the Gold go-go boy competition, or from the recent splash he made from his entrance on For the Love of DILFs, the queer answer to a dating reality show that matches DILFS and himbos. (For those unfamiliar, himbos refers to an attractive but not very bright male.) Before you hit the cancel culture button, the term himbos on this show is actually used as a foil as we find out there’s more going on with the contestants than just a hot body. The show itself is very tongue-in-cheek, highly self-aware, and not only entertains but also surprises with moments of insight into issues like body positivity, ageism, and sex positivity that are currently hot topics in our community.

Like the show, Prince Joshua has a veneer of good looks and sexual energy. When you look further, you find there’s a lot more going on when you look at Joshua’s educated activism, especially when it comes to building bridges with our trans community. That peeling back of the facade was the reason Joshua did the show in the first place.

I wanted to show a side of me that social media doesn’t normally see. It’s hard for me to be vulnerable online, especially when I want everyone to know I’m a baddie. But I think the fact that I was able to open up and show another side of me will humanize me more to my followers and hopefully help them see me more for who I am.

In the course of the show, not only was Joshua able to delve into the lives of other members of the LGBTQ community he wouldn’t necessarily rub shoulders with, but he was also to find out more about himself.

I learned that it’s okay to process my feelings and let myself feel them. I also learned that it’s okay to let your walls down and to let others in, even if it means being vulnerable. We sometimes think we’re the only people experiencing different emotions and situations when others are also experiencing or have experienced the same thing and can help us process it. Taking others’ experiences and learning from them can really help your own growth and help you succeed in the future when put in a similar situation. 

With the central themes of the show focusing on ageism, Joshua believes it is still a big issue within our community and hopes the audience sees a different generation of gay men in a new light. He also hopes himbos can get a better rap.

I myself would never limit who I love due to an age difference but know that others do. Something I always tell gentlemen when they tell me they’re old is “you’re only as old as you act.” If a guy focuses on the fact that he’s older than me, or brings it up multiple times in one date, it can be very annoying. We both obviously know the age gap and choose to be on the date with one another, so it shouldn’t matter. Whether they’re too young or too old it shouldn’t be about a number. As long as they are both consenting adults, if someone is making you happy, and you choose one another that’s all that matters.

I hope we help people stop being ageists, I hope they take the time to appreciate and understand that the guys on the show who are sex workers are just as deserving to find love as anyone else is. Everyone in our community deserves to share their story and find their true love.

Age has just been a number for Joshua who, as a young boy growing up in Idaho, came to terms with his sexuality early on. From there he would make his way to Arizona, on his own at 18, to discover who he was in the realm of life. There he would adopt his Princely name and fashion sense and create his own royalty.

Growing up, I had a very religious and conservative upbringing. Being very sheltered and being born in a small town I never even considered the thought that I was gay. During my junior year of high school I came out to my parents, with my sister Rose coming out as gay (and later as trans) we had a lot of long discussions with our parents on what our identity and sexuality meant to us. It took patience and love to come to the level of support that our family has for one another. I think the experience really shaped who I am today, carrying a lot of values from my upbringing but without the need for religion, just love.

Although I came out in high school, I tended to cling to the preppy stereotype and was always nervous to cause too much attention to the fact that I was gay. When I moved out of my parent’s house and to Arizona I felt so free. I was 18 and had just got my first big tattoo, as I secretly got the infamous crown tattoo on my right cheek when I was 17, I pierced my septum and began a new journey. I really came into my own by being surrounded by students who had just as much passion for their brands as I did. I really learned how to market myself and thus began styling everything I wore with my black and gold, medieval meets streetwear, influences. I played with makeup, began creating harnesses, and found confidence in myself that made me not care what anyone thought of me. From crop tops to black mesh, leather to lace, and gold or iced-out jewelry I was always one of the most extra people when walking into class, at a family reunion, and of course on my Instagram. That’s when I came up with my mantra “Royalty is the mindset you wear” because just like our style the mindset we choose to wear is how people will perceive us.  

He earned his BA in fashion marketing. As much as his body would play a part in becoming a social media presence, so would his fashion. He fused fashion, his education, and social media to come into his own.

I am in love with being able to use fashion to take me to a new fantasy or moment. Styling outfits with different locations, sets, and edits can take people to another realm, it’s my favorite form of storytelling. Even seeing a collection go down a runway tells you a story of that person, their aesthetic, and their presence. It’s also an expression of how you feel, what you think, or what you stand for. No matter who you are, you choose fashion to represent you every day. That’s why I like to make every day my runway.

During my time studying fashion, I used the tools and techniques I learned to optimize my social media. I began posting frequently, styling myself, posing in different ways, and showing my different talents from dancing to hula hooping, and people started to eat it up. I continued to build from the username I had chosen @ThePrinceJoshua, and wear crowns, and gold, and started getting recognized as my handle. I then began working with different underwear brands, and rave brands, and hope to one day work with a clothing brand.

The word influencer has gained a love/hate connotation in the world of media. To Joshua, being an influencer is not just posting a thirst trap and watching engagement. He defines it as:

Being genuine and authentic to who you are and what you represent. I only choose to promote brands or sponsorships that I actually would suggest, wear, or use. Knowing when to say no to things is important in order to keep your brand’s presence consistent. I love to inspire others with what I post and tend to only follow accounts that personally inspire me. When creating a concept and executing it, nothing feels better than others commenting on how they were taken into that fantasy.

A true inspiration in Joshua’s life has been his sister Rose, the two of them showing both the gay and trans communities how we can come together to inspire change and understanding.

My sister, Rose Montoya, came out as gay before I did (she later came out as trans). While in high school she helped warm-up my religious family to having a queer person in our family. She really helped me find the confidence to accept myself and be myself. I had a lot of internalized homophobia and even had a short period when I wasn’t close to Rose because she was queer. When I told Rose I was gay, we both hugged each other and cried and then became each other’s biggest supporters. We had each other’s backs no matter what after that and would explain how at the end of the day love is more important than what we had been taught. For years I had been bullied by my peers, it seemed everyone knew I was gay before I did. Being told you’d go to hell for being gay, that you’ll have a hard life, or that it’s unnatural stuck in my mind during the times my peers would say that I was gay or called me a fag. Once I accepted that if I choose to be myself, I allow myself to be genuine in what I feel, and I choose to show love to others, no one can tell me I’m not worthy of love. I would tell my peers “yeah I’m gay so what? Not for your ugly ass!” and they’d leave me alone. I began showing fake confidence in who I was and it later became real confidence in owning the fact that I am unapologetically me.

Rose was the first person to help me understand the importance of gender identity, pronouns, and being aware of every group in the LGBTQIA+ community. Her series Trans 10 and the advocating she does for the queer community are incredible and I love how she so easily can help others understand how to be socially appropriate and aware. (Check out www.thetrans101.com).

How does Joshua think we can best support our trans family?

Standing up for them when they need it, and calling out transphobic behavior, even from the LGBTQIA+ community. This also means walking them to their cars at night, checking if they’re doing okay, and even just reaching out to tell them they have your support can mean so much. Our community is constantly fighting censorship on social media so it’s about sharing their posts, commenting (I mean actually saying something, not just emojis), saving, and liking their content especially when it’s an important message. It means signing petitions they post, donating if you can to their GoFundMe for gender-affirming surgery, and normalizing their experience.

Prince Joshua’s move to Southern California has been a whirlwind. As a major part of the Arizona nightclub scene as both a go-go and bartender, he packed his bags and came to Los Angeles, having to restart as a newbie, proving himself quickly.

I love how much bigger LA is – different opportunities are always one connection away. From being in Trinity the Tuck’s Femboy’s music video, to go-go dancing for Trixie Mattel, being a guest at Little Nas X’s birthday party, dancing on stage for the Boulet Brothers Halloween Ball, dancing on stage with Kim Petras, Ava Max, and so many other incredible artists, it’s been one amazing year.

The confidence we see from Joshua’s content and appearance as it relates to his body has not always been an easy journey. And wanting to be seen as more than just a himbo to the public eye, he sees the delicate relationship between growing his social media, pursuing his career, and being true to himself.

It’s an addictive thing, social media. The feeling of getting lots of likes and comments is something too many of us crave. Showing skin has always been an easy way for me to up my engagement, I think that’s why I began doing it. I grew up never being picked first, never being the cutest guy in the room, and never having the person I liked, like me back. After puberty, a lot of working out, and the confidence to be myself, I began getting a form of attention I wasn’t used to. I loved it. I love to show my progress but only post photos for myself and not what others want me to. It’s something most influencers struggle with, especially when trying to date someone. I try not to compare myself to others as I know with photoshop and genetics that no two people will ever look alike. I focus on wanting to be a better version of myself, that’s the only person I want to look like. There’s so much more to these Instagram models and influencers than what their body looks like, that’s something I’m excited for people to start seeing in the reality TV shows I’ve been a part of.

I love to combine my love for dancing, fashion, modeling, and sexual freedom. That’s what our profiles are made for, to express ourselves. I do want to show more of my fashion style, creativity, and brand, but to produce new things costs a lot, and I’m not quite there yet. But something I intend to do is be more vulnerable and real with some of my content, not always focusing on my body. I’m going to continue designing, creating, and styling and you’ll definitely see more from me on my socials.

Despite his time looking for love on the DILF show, he is content as he is – single.

Right now I’m really focused on my happiness and love myself. I’m not looking for love, I’m just chasing my dreams and hoping the right guy comes into my life when I’m ready. I’ve taken lots of time to understand what it means for me to be a good partner and how someone can be a good partner to me. I hope to find someone I can grow with, support, feel supported by, and genuinely love.

And his Pride wish for our community this year?

My Pride wish is for all of us to stand together. Our spending power, voting power, and power of influence are so incredible, we must use these to our advantage to stop the hate and banning of drag queens, to stop the horrible bans and laws being passed against our trans community members, and use all of our talents and skills to show we are deserving of equal rights, bodily autonomy, and of course respect.

You can follow Prince Joshua on IG: @thePrinceJoshua

[Photos by @Vir.Ex.Terra]