Michael + Matthew Take Love Around the World

They say a true test of any relationship is traveling with your partner. Beyond the hotel room frolics and picturesque landscapes, there is jet lag, personality ticks, travel delays, and close quarters. Married couple Michael (the tall one) and Matthew (with the mischievous grin) have made traveling not only a central part of their relationship, but they have turned it into a media empire, making a presence for themselves on YouTube, Instagram, and their popular blog. They share their travels to top LGBTQ+ destinations not only to offer travel tips and advice from locals and experts alike, but also to inspire the community to travel the world and spread a little (or a lot) of Pride along the way.

In a scenario that would befit a Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movie for the digital era, the two “met” over YouTube. Matthew, having worked through his conservatively Christian environment, posted his coming-out story on the platform, with intimacy and sincerity. Michael, dealing with his own sexuality, was searching for coming out stories on YouTube and made it through three pages of searches until he came upon Matthew’s video. Not only was he inspired by Matthew’s story, but he was also a bit taken with Matthew’s handsome mug. As any eager gay in 2014 would do, he messaged Matthew on Tumblr…to no avail. But later, when Matthew put out a request for his audience to record and post their own coming out videos, Michael recorded, edited, and posted his video the next day, Tweeting it at Matthew. The rest is…history. But what was it about that initial YouTube connection?

Matthew: What first stuck out to me was Michael’s striking good looks. That much was obvious. But in watching his coming-out video on YouTube, we had a ton of similarities in our past upbringing, how we each had dealt with shame in our own lives, and how we were looking towards the future in pursuing our careers as out and proud men. His story affected me. He was raw, real, and authentically himself. His video and his story hit me like lightning.

Michael: I came across his coming out video at the beginning of my own coming out story, as I was looking for inspiration and shared experiences. I saw his as one of the most authentic and striking stories I came across. I watched more videos and saw that we had a lot of similarities. He was cute, creative, and honest. Something in me knew I wanted to get to know him more. I was not looking for a relationship, but cards fell, and we ended up hitting it off immediately.

Even in our current digital age, YouTube seems like a very public place to come out to the world. Why YouTube?

Matthew: I joined YouTube in 2007. This was when the first YouTubers’ channels were taking shape, and the online community was beginning to develop. Everything was new and exciting about the internet then. And for me, it was the only place I felt like I could truly be myself. In high school, I was closeted and closed off to the rest of the world. But on YouTube, I could engage with this incredible community of people from around the world, be my true self, and I felt like it couldn’t touch or harm me back at home. My online life was separate and secret from my in-person life. But as I entered college, I got closer and closer to those who followed me on YouTube. I often received letters asking for advice and help from many people who were in the closet and may have picked up that I might be as well. I felt so conflicted because I was attending a Christian University that had strict rules against being openly gay. In my junior year of college, I came out to some of my closest friends and parents. For months, I debated making it official online and the potential consequences in my life for doing such a thing. Each person I came out to made me more confident in who I was. I saw that my life offline did not match what I was telling people online, and I felt false. I needed to be shamelessly honest with my online community to connect with all those in my life on a true and authentic level.

Michael: I spent hours watching other people’s stories when I felt most vulnerable. It was immensely helpful. Once I felt comfortable enough, I wanted my story to be out there in case it helped someone else.

After they connected, they exchanged numbers on Facebook, and less than a week later, Michael was on a plane to visit Matthew in Seattle.

Matthew: Michael arrived at the airport in Seattle. I drove from class to pick him up, and immediately we felt a connection. I held a sign for him in the airport lobby that said, “Welcome to Seattle, Michael!” We drove directly to Capitol Hill, my favorite neighborhood in Seattle. We walked around, talked about life, got coffee, and ended up strolling all the way down to Pike Market. Navigating the crowds there, I happened to grab his hand to help him through the crowd… and I never really let go! We wandered through the area down to the piers on the waterfront, stopping to listen to a busker play “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls. Even though we had been talking nonstop for the past three weeks, neither of us confessed our feelings for the other until we met in person. I grabbed his hand first, but he asked if he could kiss me when we were standing on the pier looking out onto the Puget Sound.

Michael: We had a first date weekend. We had spoken over Skype for many hours and made the plan for me to fly to Seattle. Sparks started flying a few hours after I landed, and we explored Seattle, went to dinners, took a ferry to Bainbridge Island, and spent an evening at Golden Gardens. It was a truly magical weekend, and it was the start of our relationship.

Six months later, it was YouTube official. More than that, Matthew decided to pack up his life to be with Michael, leaving the life he had built to move to Nebraska. The hardest part for Matthew?

I was fresh out of college in Seattle, so the most difficult part was the absolute culture shock of moving to the Midwest and being away from my community of friends. I just felt so far away. I felt like I was on an island full of strangers, and Michael was the only one I knew and could really interact with. It took a long time to make friends in Nebraska, but I grew a lot into who I am now.

The gay relationship stereotype is, the quicker the relationship, the quicker the break-up. But the two have been inseparable ever since and married in 2018. But this Disney-esque happy story can’t be all there is? There must be SOMETHING wrong with the other, right?

Matthew: That’s an easy one, and Michael knows it! I have always had difficulty with the sound of people chewing. I am so overly sensitive to it. I have commented to Michael about his chewing more times than I’d care to admit. He thinks it’s funny and usually chews louder when I mention it!

Michael: He is ALWAYS on his phone. I get it; there is a lot of work to do on there but put the thing down occasionally!

As their relationship grew, so to did their social media presence. They packed their bags and decided to travel the world, cataloging the best moments and images from their visits.

Matthew: Like many of the greatest loves in my life, YouTube brought on the travel bug! As I started video blogging, I started to grow close to others in the YouTube community. Naturally, our conversations often ventured into talking about where we were from and all the exciting aspects of our home cities. It was like having a ton of pen pals all at the same time. We would all be on video chat hanging out, and we’d have friends from 7 or 8 different countries all there. So, when I first applied for my passport and got an opportunity to travel, I was compelled to visit those I had met on YouTube. The more I visited friends around the world, the more I wanted to see! Traveling is addicting. Once you get a small taste of it, especially if you get the opportunity to see someone’s city through their eyes—there is no going back. It is like a curiosity that grows the more you discover.

Michael: When I was in high school, I traveled to New York, D.C., Costa Rica, Germany, and a few other places outside of my small hometown and loved the experience every time. I was amazed by the different foods, habits, perspectives, landscapes, and lifestyles. I wanted to know more about the world and better understand the perspectives of others around the world. I wanted to experience as many places and experiences as possible. I just lucked out my husband feels similarly.

They have been to every kind of city, experiencing the culture, the architecture, the food, and the Pride of the world. But it was their first trip as a married couple that provided a most memorable, if not quite romantic, vacation. For their honeymoon, the embarked on a two-day hike in Thailand.

Michael: I was IMMENSELY unprepared. I think we both were. I knew we were hiking and then staying in a small Thai village. We would be hiking for 5 hours each day. Things we did not know:

• It would be pouring rain the whole time.
• There would be leeches.
• We needed umbrellas and ponchos.
• There would be zero services along the route.
• The list goes on.

I wore all white like, Under Armour athletic clothes, dumb. I did have an umbrella, but only one between the two of us. We hiked through muddy rice fields and thick forests for an entire day. When we got to our “lookout,” we were encapsulated in clouds and couldn’t see anything. The couple we went with (who we had just met as we got in the truck) almost fell off a muddy/wet incline in the jungle. The 5-hour hike was closer to 7 or 8 hours. We got to a small village and stayed in a hut with six legs, two rooms, and seven people who needed to sleep there. The roof was metal, it rained most of the night, and everything was wet. I WAS NOT PREPARED to be so uncomfortable. I don’t like being wet unless I’m swimming; I like being comfortable, dry, and warm. This was none of those things. Despite all of that, it was an unbelievable experience. Our guide cut wild plants and herbs on our hike to use in dinner that evening. Our host graciously made all of us dinner and let us sleep in her home. We saw unbelievable countryside (when the clouds cleared) and heard the jungle come alive as we went to sleep. I’m not sure I want to do it again… but maybe.

A better, if not less dramatic memory, is among their most recent excursions.

Michael: We went to Scotland right before everyone went into COVID lockdowns. We are huge Harry Potter fans, and the famous aqueduct bridge was on our itinerary. We were there in February, and it was very cold and rainy. We hiked up to the viewpoint in the rain and took soaking wet photos with other creators. We hiked back, and the wind wiped up to 40-50mph by best guess and almost broke all our umbrellas. We were all trying to look pretty/nice for photos and it was just an absolute mess of weather. We got back in the car to drive back to the hotel, stopped at their bar in the middle of the countryside and right when we got there, we heard a huge lightning strike and the lights went out. We wanted to get a drink, but no one had cash. We then spent another hour finding anywhere open that would take us. We ate Haggis and listened to our tour guide’s stories of ghost encounters as a child and adult all dinner and the whole drive home in the dark. It was far from a picturesque day, but it was one of my favorite travel experiences we have had.

And their best travel tips?

Matthew: First, read our blog! We have a ton of travel tips there about locations all over the world. Honestly, whether it is our blog or elsewhere, research is key for travel! Research the best places to eat ahead of time and mark them digitally in Google Maps so you can find exactly where they are once you land. Another tip I have is just to be open to new experiences! You are already making the decision to travel, so why not go out on a limb and see if you can meet someone new? Some of my favorite times abroad have been spontaneous moments when I have wandered into a bar or just decided to put myself out there and say hi to someone at a hostel.

Despite the curated images and videos, we see from the couple, there is still the harsh reality of travel; the less than glossy behind the scenes from their trips.

Matthew: Traveling is exhausting. Michael and I take way too many redeye flights, and it absolutely wears on us. We really try not to show it in our photos and videos, but oh my goodness, which is the reality of travel. Sometimes I feel absolutely insane hopping on a redeye flight to somewhere in the world only to get off the plane and hit the ground running on tour after tour. Michael and I have had moments where we were at one of the most beautiful beaches in the world, and we just look out to the ocean and think, “My God, if I could only take a nap right now!” We get the question about how we balance work and travel, and the true answer comes from sacrificing our rest. I really do think it is all worth it, though. It is amazing once we get over the jet lag or get a full night of sleep. We wake up and feel like we are ready to see the world!

Beyond their lives as vloggers visiting every magical destination you can think of and the glitz and glamour of attending LGBTQ+ events around the globe, at home they lead a very down-to-earth life. Michael is a full-time dentist and Matthew works as a freelance photographer and writer. A typical day is quite ordinary.

Matthew: If it is a workday, Michael typically leaves the house around 6:45 am. I get up a little later, around 7 or 7:15 am, and start the day with a cup of coffee. I will go to the gym for an hour, get ready for the day and then begin responding to emails around 9 am. Typically my day at home is mundane, managing tasks from writing content, editing photos and videos, responding to emails, attending meetings, and taking care of things at home in the in-between. Michael usually makes it home for lunch midday, which is a great time for us to catch up, then we will make dinner or order some takeout around 6 pm when Michael returns home from work. After dinner, we usually relax in our living room and watch a show in the evenings. Honestly, my favorite moments of the day are just cuddling on the couch with our dog and watching something funny.

 Michael: Currently, I wake up at 5:20 am, shower, make coffee, get something to eat, let the dog out, get the cat and dog some food, kiss my husband goodbye and go to work from 7:00 to about 6:00. When I get home, sometimes I have enough energy to turn around and go to the gym; other times, it’s make food, clean a little but mostly decompress, and relax so I’m not too burnt for the next day. Then, bed!

How is the couple the most different in real life than what we see on social media?

Matthew: Like many on social media, we share mostly the highlights. We share a ton of great moments. Sometimes we do share some of what’s been tough in our lives, but not nearly as much as the positives. We like to keep what we post optimistic. Just as we need to remind ourselves that what we see on others’ pages are just the highlights, we need to recognize that Michael and I have a lot of bad days that don’t make it onto the feed. It’s normal and natural and just the way things are. The last thing I want to do on a bad day when I just feel like sulking in a giant tub of ice cream, is share that with anyone, let alone online! I think this obviously gets overseen since we don’t post about the crap, and so many see our couple persona as this idealized gay-married-life when in reality… we’re also just as much a mess as anyone else we know! But still, we love the mess, it’s our mess!

It is so easy to get overwhelmed with social media and the public eye. Part of what helps keep us healthy and sane in our relationship is knowing our limits and when to take breaks. We share a part of our lives online, but we don’t share all our lives online. Sometimes we just put the phone down and take a day. We also just communicate our limits with each other in what is okay and not okay to share. Communication is key to staying aligned on what we put out onto the internet.

With all the realities of the difficulties that occur in a relationship, their keys to a successful relationship are simple.

Matthew: One thing that I think is pivotal in a relationship surviving is the internal decision to make the relationship work. When Michael and I first started dating, I realized that the image I had imagined for my future husband was a Disney Prince version and a false reality that would never happen. I fell in love with Michael, and I knew I wanted to be with him, so I had to divorce myself from the perfectionistic concept that there is a “perfect soulmate” for me. We get to decide who we are soulmates with, and there will be plenty of moments where we discover they are far from perfect. That is okay. What matters is that I love him and that I choose to be with him. Love is a choice we make, so choosing every day to be with him changed my perspective from, “Does he fit my perfect ideation of what my partner should be?” to “He is my chosen partner, how can we make our relationship better?”

Michael: Communication, empathy, humility. It is ok to not always be right. It is important to feel heard, and it is vital to openly express thoughts and feelings without thinking you will be judged for them. We are still working on these ourselves but have come a long way since we met in 2014. Anything beyond attraction is always a plus and knowing the other’s love language is also important.

Yes, they have had the “should we have kids” talk. They have agreed to focus on their family in 2022, whether that means adoption or surrogacy they have not decided but it is part of their future goals.

During this Valentine’s season, inquiring minds want to know. How do they keep the romance alive?

Matthew: Oh goodness. I honestly do not know! We keep it fun. We joke around, we poke fun at each other, we flirt. I think keeping things high-spirited and organic is the best way for us to keep our romance alive. Neither of us has been overly romantic with flowers or chocolate or all that. The most romantic thing for me is when we are able to spend time together, just watching a movie or making dinner together.

And how do they keep the bedroom spark alive?

Michael: Honestly, take care of ourselves outside of the bedroom. I think people do not understand how, when you’re constantly exhausted, you just want to go to bed. You don’t have that spark all the time. But you usually feel sparkier if you feel well-rested 😉

Looking back at the journeys they have taken, the memories they have made, the stories they have shared, and the inspiring messages they get from their audience, the Michael and Matthew we see today are not the boys who first pressed “publish” on YouTube those many years ago.

Matthew: The biggest change I can identify is how we have chilled out as a couple. Things do not necessarily bother us as much anymore. When we first started dating, things seemed extremely high-staked as we wrestled with the idea of me moving to Nebraska to avoid dating long-distance; every little thing felt like a mountain. We could make an argument over anything like our music tastes being different – some of our interests not exactly lining up – or the question of where our futures might lead. It felt so polarizing initially, and we had a lot of emotional talks that brought us much closer together. Now the petty things don’t bug us anymore. We have a mutual understanding and laugh and joke around about the things that might annoy us. After a few years together, we just came to the point of knowing we are both in it for the long haul, we are teammates, and we can laugh about these things.

 Michael: I think just the intuition we have for each other’s needs. We know so much more about each other than we did at the beginning. One of the biggest things I learned was how much more I needed to communicate. Yes, on thoughts and feelings but even more so just little things: where was I, what is our plan for the weekend, when will I be home, etc. We also learned how to merge two very independent individuals into a mutual relationship and work and live together while keeping our own personalities and identities.

Though they are big names in the LGBTQ influencer community, their goal with their media is a bit different.

Matthew: I do not like the term influencer per-say because I’m not really trying to influence anyone. That is not why we started creating content. I have always loved to create – whether that be music, art, stories, or even new relationships. Creating has been an integral part of my life, so I consider Michael and myself more as creators. We just love to share what we create and hope that what we create brings joy to others. Much of what we make comes out from our personal journeys in life, mental health, and sexuality. As much as the internet has been a whiteboard for me to vent and share much of my personal struggles in life, it also reflects as our community responds and engages us in a discussion. I think being content creators, we have a certain opportunity to share our experiences and immediately hear back and relate with others who share much of the same. Sharing our stories creates discussion, and from that comes change.

Their fans play another role in their marriage. As much as they are in front of the camera, they take the time and connect with their audience who have been inspired to share stories of their own. To their audience they say,

Matthew: Thank you for following our story. Thank you for your messages of support. Thank you for challenging us. Thank you for continuing to show up, engage us in conversation, and stretch our boundaries of what we know of our community and how we can be better advocates. Thank you for being our chosen family. I appreciate every single person who has impacted us through the internet. It is incredible to have you a part of our family!

Michael: That they have spoken into and changed our lives more than I think we ever could into theirs. I want to thank them for understanding us and accepting us for who we are. I am honored to have a platform that I feel can affect and positively inspire all ages and orientations. We take that responsibility very seriously, and we hope we have created an environment where people feel we are friends and accept and love them for who they are.

You can follow Michael and Matt on IG: @MichaelandMatt

Check out their travel tips, blog, and videos at www.MichaelandMatt.com