Josh Sabarra – Tells It Like It Is

Josh Sabarra – Tells It Like It Is.

By Alexander Rodriguez

With a mischievous wink of an eye, a slight upturn in his smile that’s almost a smirk, and a toss of his hair – you’re not sure if Josh Sabarra is going to be your best friend or your worst enemy – to some in Hollywood, he’s been both.  Whether you know it or not, you’ve likely been touched (in a legally appropriate way) by his work on some level or another. 

Becoming part of the entertainment industry at an impossibly young age, he has been there, done that, and rubbed elbows (and more) with about every celeb you can think of.  Josh served as a Senior Vice President for A&E/Lifetime Networks, responsible for the successful launches of such series as Project Runway and Sony’s hit comedic drama Drop Dead Diva.  With New Line Cinema, he spearheaded campaigns for blockbuster films including The Lord of the Rings, Elf, The Notebook, Wedding Crashers and Hairspray. Previously, at Miramax Films, he handled a variety of special projects and film/awards campaigns including Kill Bill, The Station Agent, and Cold Mountain.  Prior to his executive role at Miramax Films, he was a Director for Warner Bros., where he oversaw campaigns for the Harry Potter franchise and studio classics such as Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory and Giant.  Beginning his career with The Walt Disney Company, Sabarra worked on theatrical publicity campaigns for box-office hits Hercules, Mulan, Armageddon, Toy Story 2 and The Sixth Sense, among many others.  Love those Hallmark and Lifetime movies?  He’s been there too.  (Look for his cameo in one of this season’s Hallmark Christmas movies.)

All of this would be enough for any career in entertainment, but what’s a guy to do with a pocket full of Hollywood stories, a sassy mouth and a talent for writing?  Enter, stage left, Porn Again – his debut memoir, details his sitcom worthy childhood (complete with a musical Bar Mitzvah and addiction to cleanliness), his late bloom into sexuality (he was a virgin until 31), his sexual revolution (complete with porn stars, Broadway stars, and everything in between), and his brushes with the good, the bad, and the ugly of Hollywood (Dolly Parton, Anne Bancroft, Ricki Lake, Cher, Bette Midler, Denzel Washington, Matthew McConaughey all make an appearance –  I won’t say which category they fall in, you’ll have to read.)  But this memoir isn’t just a mean girl romp down memory lane.  It has heart as he shares the true reality of his journey.  He talks openly about his struggle with body issues and his relationship with plastic surgery, his early loss of a loved one from suicide, career ups and downs, and some truly brutal breakups with lovers and friends alike.  The book was well received with standing room only events at Barnes & Noble’s flagship stores from coast to coast. 

His follow up, Enemies Closer, tells the tale of a 40-ish, mid-level studio publicist who has issues with her body, dating, and the industry, who gets wrapped up in a circle of gossip and backstabbing – all under the Hollywood spotlight.  It’s a work of fiction (sure, Josh, sure) although some of the characters seem very familiar, like VERY familiar.

Here’s the exclusive sit down with Josh and read on to find out how you can win his two-book set, just in time for the holidays. A perfect gift for your favorite frenemy! 

PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR leads us in with a racy title but is actually a very intimate look at your youth, your late sexual coming of age and relationship with the entertainment industry.  Given your prominence in the entertainment industry, weren’t you afraid of sharing too much?

I wanted the title to suggest the cheeky, fun-loving voice that readers will find in the book. Sure, there are some very serious parts of my story, but I don’t wallow in the dark moments. The book is definitely intimate, which is what I believe people connect to. It would have been easier to gloss over the pain and hard truths, but I didn’t want to take that path. I am not fearful of being honest and raw but instead hopeful that people can find themselves in these pages — anyone who has ever felt different or like an outsider for any reason.

PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR details your sexual experiences with celebrities, first crushes, and even porn stars.  What have you learned most about yourself through these sexual encounters?  What have you learned more about other people?

As you know, I was a late bloomer; I kept my sexual identity on the back burner until I was 31 and remained a virgin until that point. During the delayed adolescence you mention — essentially 31 to 40 — I behaved the way you’d expect a 20-year-old to carry on. I learned quite a bit during that period, most important to be more compassionate. I’m extremely sensitive to other people’s struggles and insecurities. We’re all human and traveling through life the best we can, whether we’re poor, rich, famous or behind-the-scenes-type folks. Having the opportunity to be physically and/or emotionally intimate with such different kinds of personalities helped me to be less critical of myself and of others. People are far more complicated and nuanced than the narratives we create about them in our heads, and I’m more actively aware of that these days. I’m still a work in progress, however, and continue to learn from every experience, romantic or otherwise.

How has being an openly gay entertainment personality changed the most over the years, and into our current age of LGBT “inclusivity”?

I was closeted for many years, always feeling ashamed and uncomfortable in my own skin. When I finally stepped into myself in my early 30s, I found those around me to be extremely accepting and supportive. It’s fantastic that people have leaned into more meaningful inclusivity, but what does concern me is the current tendency to over-label. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all just exist without needing to be defined by a particular word or category?

You have had your hands in many different aspects of the industry, what are you most proud of?

I’ve always been a big pop culture and entertainment fan and feel very lucky to have been able to turn that passion into a wide-ranging career. I’ve been a marketing executive, a television producer, and a writer, and I’m proud of all the work I’ve done. My books, though, are very special to me. I’m excited to focus even more on my writing, particularly my next novel.

What is your biggest regret, in personal life and in your career life?

I’ve never seen the value of having regrets. Every experience — good or bad — is a contribution to a life lived. And, as a writer, it’s all material!

PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR is a literal tell-all, naming names and uncovering some Hollywood secrets.  Was there a moment where you thought, maybe I shouldn’t do this?

PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR is a “tell-it-like-it-is” more than it is a “tell-all.” I pull no punches when it comes to identifying the events and people who played a part in shaping my life to this point, whether positively or negatively.  The book names only those whose identities are important to my journey in some way. PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR is unapologetically frank, as I think readers are tired of fluff. When I was writing, I knew I had to be open and honest as well as cop to my own flaws and mistakes. I’m as much (or more) responsible for my own becoming as anyone else, and I never worry about living honestly and telling my story.

We see a bigger than life personality through your books, your appearances, and even your social media. How is Josh the person most different than Josh the personality?

What you get is what you see — although I do filter the bags under my eyes sometimes. Is that wrong?

You talk a lot about body issues and your relationship with plastic surgery.  We are in a supposed celebration of body inclusivity in the LGBT community and the entertainment biz – is this real or is it just a fad?

My relationship with food and plastic surgery, which I talk about openly in PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR, was a twisted dance. I ate to feel good after being bullied and verbally abused and then had multiple surgeries to feel better about how I looked following the unhealthy eating. It was, without question, a dangerous cycle. I’ve been unsatisfied with my looks and my body my entire life but am far less critical when it comes to others. In fact, I find myself attracted to men with so many different “looks” and body types. For me, it’s the insides — values, sensibility, sense of humor — that grab my attention, not the container. I’ve experienced and observed quite a bit of body shaming, though, even with buzz words such as “inclusivity” and “positivity” flying around like bullets these days. I’d like to see people start walking the walk, celebrating differences and imperfections rather than criticizing them.

PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR was a great success. When did you start working on your second book, ENEMIES CLOSER?  Did you feel a huge pressure in writing a follow-up?

I began work on ENEMIES CLOSER about six months after PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR hit shelves. I absolutely felt pressure to deliver a follow-up that would satisfy fans of my memoir and also intrigue new readers — and to successfully write in a new genre.  I had a blast writing ENEMIES CLOSER and was thrilled that it was embraced by so many people. Its success gave me the confidence to get started on my third book.

ENEMIES CLOSER is a work of fiction, why not continue in the vein of PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR?

But is ENEMIES CLOSER that far from the truth? I’ll let you decide. In all seriousness, I felt as though I had poured my heart and soul into PORN AGAIN: A MEMOIR and wanted to do something that was escapist fun. Interestingly, I met the lovely Jackie Collins at a writers event shortly before she passed away, and she also encouraged me to do a fun piece of Hollywood fiction. Does that surprise you?

You have accomplished so much, what’s left to do? What is your end goal?

Hopefully, I have the whole second half of my life to go — so get your reading glasses out. I’ve got some more books in me. (And watch out, Hollywood; I know where all of those skeletons are!)

Josh is giving away two sets of both his books.  Follow GED Magazine on Facebook @GEDmagazine and watch for the promotion!

Facebook.com/JoshSabarraAuthor
Twitter: @JoshSabarra
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