It’s Halloween Time!

October is finally here and that means the goblins, ghosts, and ghouls are out and about. I am simply over the moon with frightful delight, and I must let you know that I actually started a little early this year with my celebration of the season. I need to be honest and admit that I have become “one of THOSE people” who pays no mind to the summer and lights her pumpkin spice candle near the end of July. I know…I know…some people get really irate when you don’t let summer run its full course, BUT, honey, I live in the desert where it reaches 120 degrees or higher and it’s not the best time for a female illusionist like myself to be out in the elements.  I literally will do anything to call upon the fall weather goddess to get those lower temps here STAT. 

That being said, I am grateful that there is evidence on social media showing thousands, possibly millions of others like me, who get an early jumpstart on Halloween. Some are so obsessed with the holiday that they celebrate it all year long, and you know what I say: DO IT! If it brings you joy and it isn’t hurting anybody…let your spooky flag fly.

I’m happy to report that I was at Starbucks on August 24th, the day they released the coveted Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino. My Halloween tree and outside decor went up on September 5th. (I was trying to get it all up by September 1st so I could be in line with Disneyland, but that didn’t happen. There’s always next year though.) I have purchased the limited-edition pumpkin spice Frosted Flakes, which are “GRRREAT” by the way, and I am currently LIVING my BEST LIFE for the next 31 days!

What should you do for this spooky season you ask? Well, I’ve got some recommendations for you, BOO!!

For my fellow desert friends, it’s time to head down to the Riverside County Fairgrounds for the first EVER “Riverside County SCARE & Pumpkin Festival.” This new event will merge the playful mystic of Halloween with the rich traditions of the Day of the Dead. Here you will be able to visit a magical town in the spirit world featuring an immersive experience in three gorgeous, themed realms:

• Plaza Fantazma: A haven for family-friendly fun, this pumpkin patch boasts seasonal delicacies and a picture-perfect town square alive with a festival of friendly ghosts.
• Cantina Calacas: Sip on festive brews where skeletons celebrate Oktoberfest in a haunting desert oasis like no other, where every toast echoes with spirited laughter.
• Carnival Carnivore: Step right up and see “The Beast…Who FEASTS!” This heart-pounding haunted house for thrill-seekers aged 16 and up promises unforgettable surprises!

I mean, this sounds like an absolutely BOO-tiful night that should not be missed! The ghosts come alive every weekend in October and tickets are available at www.datefest.org.

Now, if you are wanting something a bit more intense, where you just might make a mess in your pants from being so scared, then another desert attraction awaits you at Parkwil Manor Productions “Fear Haunt.” This haunted house resides at The Shops at Palm Desert, formerly known as the Westfield Mall. I am a seasoned haunted maze girl, and I must tell you, this blood curdling experience is just as good as what the big boys put out at Halloween Horror Nights and Knott’s Scary Farm. And the best part, the haunted maze occupies the space of an old Ruby’s Dinner that went belly up! Talk about repurposing for the greater ghoul! This attraction is open nightly Thursday-Sunday, and of course on Halloween! Get your general admission ticket or VIP Fast Pass at www.parkwilmanorproductions.com. (I highly recommend the VIP, because you won’t have to wait in line. Waiting in line just sucks the joy right out…literally!)

Now speaking of Knott’s, it’s their Big 50th Never-Ending Nightmare celebration of Knott’s Scary Farm and I can assure you all that it’s going to be SPOOKY NUTS!!! Mr. and Mrs. Knott have built a haunted museum showcasing highlights of memorabilia from the past year’s frights, 10 frightening mazes, 5 sinister scare zones, 4 hair-raising shows, and more than 1,000 horrifying creatures lurking in the fog. The only thing missing is the Queen of Scream, Elvira!!!!!! Sadly, she said goodbye and “unpleasant dreams” to the farm a couple years back, but you just never know, she might return from the dead. (PSA: Elvira is not dead!) I really can’t believe that this Southern California haunted attraction has been running for as long as I’ve been alive!. Yes, you read that correctly. Both of us turned 50 this year, and! I’ll be flashing my AARP card at the park all night to see if I can get a discount!

If you attend, you really need to purchase the “Fright & Fast Lane” ticket on top of the regular admission ticket. This add-on allows you to have priority access to all mazes and priority boarding on select rides. YOU ARE AN IDIOT (Yes, I said it!) if you don’t. Without the FF Lane ticket you will stand in line most of the night and go on a whopping 2 mazes out of the 10 available. Wait times for a maze usually reach 2 and 1/2 hours on October nights. And if it’s the money issue that keeps you from getting that front of the line access ticket, then I’ve got some ideas to make that extra cash in a snap: Go and see if Susie down the street needs her lawn mowed. Put up a pumpkin spice beverage bar on the corner like they used to do with lemonade. Head to the local gas station and ask strangers if they want their windshields cleaned. Put up an ad on Rent Masseur if you’ve got soft hands. And if none of that works, put up a god damn Go Fund Me page… everyone else is doing it! All Scary Farm ticket options are available for purchase at www.knotts.com.

Well, your favorite ghost host needs to get on her broom and fly the friendly skies as only a good witch Canne. I hope this Halloween season is just perfect for you and yours and remember: ‘Trick or Treat! Smell my feet! Give me something GOOD to eat!”

Frightfully yours,

Ethyl

www.ethylina.com