Gentleman Farmer Shows Us The Human Side to Winemaking

Nestled in the arms of Napa Valley lies Gentleman Farmer Wines, a boutique winery emphasizing elegance and offering a return to the old-world-inspired art of winemaking.  Jeff Durham and Joe Wolosz, the founders and husbands behind the winery, exude that air of classic gentlemanly finery, complete with vintage looks with a modern flair. Making waves in the Napa Valley, their empire is only growing with the upcoming opening of the Gentleman Farmer Bungalow, in one of the oldest buildings in Napa, which will serve as an immersive wine experience with high-quality foods and 5-star hospitality.

The two seem destined to come together and create this vintage experience. Both of them hold degrees in Hotel and Restaurant Management, share an aesthetic sense, and have wine engrained in their past.

Joey: Since I was a toddler, my parents had two roadside motels on the California coast.  I was a lucky kid because I had two swimming pools to host my June birthday. I had aspirations to be an architect when applying to college in my senior year of high school. However (long story), I was suspended/semi-expelled from school in late October that year. During my two-week “suspension” I went with my parents to the Sheraton 50th anniversary convention in Hawaii.  The powers there persuaded me to apply for hotel/restaurant majors at a few universities.

I tell people I came into the cellar through the back door of the kitchen. I was in a nine-month cooking program when I got my first winery job. I’ve kept the two in lockstep ever since. 

Jeff: I was born and raised in Napa. I started my career at 15 years old as a busboy. My family had a small vineyard when I was in school, and I attended college for hotel & restaurant management.

Once I started that busboy job and continued to work for restaurants, I knew I loved the industry. So, when the time came to consider college, I found a school in southern CA, Cal Poly Pomona, that offered a Hotel/Restaurant Management degree and applied there.

Everything about Gentleman Farmers exudes their personalities. From the bottles and labels to the website and taste. Sleek, sexy, and evocative. Classy yet playful. How did this dynamic duo first meet? Was it love at first sight?

Jeff: It actually was. We met on a Sunday afternoon in 1999 in the Castro. It was a beautiful spring day, so of course, we were inside a bar at 2 p.m. for a drink! Joey was the only one there when I walked in with my friend (who actually knew Joey from college). Within 15 minutes, the bar had filled up with all their mutual friends, and eight hours later… then, 23 years later, the rest is history.

Joey: It was Opera In The Park that day. I was meeting friends after, and I was early to The Bar On Castro. I was alone, and in walked Jeff with a college friend, Mike Figueroa.  About eight friends showed up shortly thereafter, and I told them to, “back off, he’s mine.” 

It was only a matter of time before a winery made it on the couple’s to-do list.

Joey: One day I realized I didn’t want to be 90+ years old and wonder, “What if I did it.”

In 2005, they launched their first vintage with 80 cases. Gentleman Farmer Wines was born. What did they learn from that first vintage?

Joey: Winery accounting, which was a rude awakening.

Jeff:  18 years ago! How is that possible? We’ve learned through trial and error the decisions that need to be made and it’s certainly an ongoing process.

After almost two decades in the market, they remain hands-on (literally to fruit picking), with less than 1,000 cases produced per year. Keeping it boutique has maintained the integrity of the brand and created the limited edition, luxury experience in an accessible way.

Joey: We source from farmers. We get the same rows year after year.  We suggest the vineyard practices, we do our field sampling, and we determine our pick date. We are present during harvest and fruit sorting.  I can say we have been present with every berry that gets into the bottle.  

Literally, these wines are these gentlemen’s essences.

Jeff: It’s all our passions being conveyed through our business We love to make wines that we genuinely like to drink that can be enjoyed with our cooking.

Joey: Wonder, curiosity, tradition, legacy.  

Their wine club has 200 members, all but two Joey and Jeff have personally met. Their personal tastings are strictly served with lunch, with no more than eight guests at each lunch, which is reserved by word of mouth, about once per week. This lunch experience will carry over to the Bungalow. With being such a boutique, intimate brand, how does Gentlemen Farmer keep their voice heard in the ever-growing wine industry?

Joey: I think the high touch experience we provide that feels unlike anything else in the valley, is what spreads to new customers of our brand. Jeff and I want to build meaningful relationships more than anything. I write a monthly newsletter, Field Notes, which shares a recipe, an interview, and my musings on our life in Yountville and the Valley. This helps to maintain those relationships.

Jeff: It’s our story. We get to tell the story and share it with others. You’re not hearing about it from a third party. 90% of our wine club members have been with us, listened to our story directly from us, and shared Gentleman Farmer wines with us. Everything we do is about relationships. All our businesses, experiences, and past jobs have been about relationships. This is what we know and strive to have with all of the people we come into contact with for Gentleman Farmer Wines. That connection is essential for everyone, especially after our experiences during the pandemic. We have all discovered different aspects of our lives, and how do we connect to that? What can we share and learn from each other? It’s a two-way street; we learn much from our wine club members and guests.  

The two have made a splash in the wine world, being featured in a number of media outlets that reach beyond the LGBTQ market. While still being able to spread the message of equality from our community, they note that the wine is for everyone, and their wine manifesto is to serve all.

Joey: We make wine, not gay wine, although we don’t shy from being gay. The wine stands on its own. The wine industry is agriculture, known for being very conservative.  There is a very small LGBTQ voice in wine production, and I am happy and honored to be a part of that voice.

Jeff: Gentleman Farmer is who we are, and it is our story. Being gay is an aspect of that story. We are a couple running a business and sharing our wine and stories with you; being gay is a component. We do not shy away from it; it is always part of the conversation. There are many layers to who we are.  

Having been together for more than two decades, and now running a full-time empire, how do they maintain a healthy marriage?

Joey: Like Mariah says, “Shake it off.” 

Jeff: We live together, we work together. It has been this way for over 20 years.  It’s truly what we know. 

How do they keep the spark going?

Joey: Hmmm…loaded question. NSFW. 

Jeff: Always sleep naked. 

And what have they learned from each other the most?

Joey: Patience.  

Jeff: That it takes a lot of gin and tequila to make wine.

Napa has seen a lot of growth and change over the years. For Jeff, who grew up there, Napa changed in many ways.

Jeff: It is amazing how time changes things. All for the best? I don’t know. In its current iteration, downtown Napa will be perfect for The Bungalow. We are across the street from the fire department, where my dad was a fireman for 28 years. Next door was the gym (Exertec- now torn down), where my dad and I would work out when I came home from college. We are blocks from my grammar school and where I caught the bus to get home—no more Mervyns for back-to-school clothes shopping or Merrills for supplies. I could not wait to leave when I was 18 years old, and now I am so fortunate to be back here!

With the opening of the Bungalow and future plans to open a Gentleman Farmer Guesthouse (yes, please!), Gentleman Farmer Wines melds the past with the present as a breath of fresh air in this smartphone and fast-food world. As they continue to share the story of the winery, so too do they share the story of our community.

Joey: Visibility is important.  I grew up as a teen in the ‘80s and I remember in 1988, the first National Coming Out Day.  I didn’t get my head around it at the time, but now I realize visibility is a driving force for acceptance and the fight for our rights.  

Jeff: I never thought I would be able to get married in my lifetime. Now, we have been married for seven-plus years. I never thought I would see the backlash against the gay community that I now see daily, nationally, and in my backyard. People have said we live in a bubble in CA, but that has quickly diminished. As business owners who are gay, we can share our story as husbands and partners. Show everyone what it means to be together for 23 years and have a business we believe in and want to share with others. The younger generation must know what the possibilities and opportunities are. So many people are identifying as gay, queer, and what is right for them at an early age, and I don’t what that to be squashed. Own it and be it… and, by the way, here is a 56-year-old gay man who didn’t come out until he was 25 who will support you and show you how important it is to be who you are!

For more information, head to GentlemanFarmerWines.com

[All photos are courtesy Gentlemen Farmer]