Embrace Your Gender Identity

With the increasing amount of visibility from the Transgender community in our society, one may think it is easier for people to know which gender they identify as. However, even in a generation of Google searching, it can still be difficult for individuals to know whether they are Transgender or not. So how does one know if they are Transgender?

Being a male assigned as birth and attracted to males, I concluded I was gay and never questioned my gender. It was the combination of living my life as a gay man and dressing as a female in drag that I realized sexuality had nothing to do with my gender expression. Being Transgender is how you feel about who you are, it has nothing to do with who you are attracted to.

When questioning whether you may be Transgender, ask yourself this: which gender do you gravitate to? Don’t look at your physical self or your sexual preference. A good start is to look back at yourself when you were growing up like you would watching a TV series of your life and play it back. See if one gender expressed itself more than the other.

Check out my past article on “What does it mean to be Transgender? A Transgender Dictionary” ~ gedmag.com/afterdark/a-transgender-dictionary/ 

You may be thinking, “I know I’m Transgender, what do I do now?”

Embrace your Gender Identity. Whichever gender you identify as, start expressing it. Life is a journey of exploration so why not explore your true gender. It doesn’t mean you have do a 180 and change your life around. Start with something small and grow. Just like a child hits puberty for the first time, it will take time to be comfortable with the changes. There is a misconception that when you come out, you need to hurry and change your physical self to match your identity. Take your time in understanding yourself and grow with the changes at your own pace. Don’t feel forced to rush your transition just to keep up with the media’s image of Transgender people.  

Find your allies. Talk to friends or family who you feel won’t judge you or will be supportive through your transition. If you feel like no one is out there, contact your local LGBT center and reach out for help. Online community forums are also helpful if you are not ready to come out publicly, or finding other Trans people or their allies to talk to is also a good outlet. If there are therapists near you who specializes in Transgender care, consider reaching out to them when you feel comfortable enough to do so.

Getting started can be a confusing and frustrating time. Whenever I am asked how I got started and how I am comfortable with my authentic self,  I always refer to my biggest ally, and that is time. Take your time and transition at your own pace. Start with a small action and feed that growth as your confidence grows. You may think that changing your appearance is priority and in most cases this IS important. But as a happily married Trans woman who has her own successful business, lives full time comfortably with her gender identity, has a growing amount of Trans, Gay, Lesbian and Straight friends, I believe that feeding your inner self with experiences, love and education about transitioning is the best way to start. After all, it starts and ends with who you are inside and that’s what counts the most.