Tickets to WEHO Pride

Oh, to be young-adjacent and on Ozempic, chasing my waistline from the early 1990’s. Hi everyone! Billy Francesca here, gearing up for summer and spreading my unique wisdom, like salted butter on a crispy toasted English muffin. I get so many different emails, some more involved than others, on advice. For this month I thought I would take a bunch of the short ones – I love short and sweet! However, I’ve never said ’NO” to long and hard either. Now I sound like my Mom. 

Hey Idiot,

Should I stay with my current boyfriend and let him pay for Coachella tickets, even though I really want to break up with him, or keep hooking up with his roommate and just see how this all works out?

Hot 4 Music 

Woah,

Hey Hot for Music, 

Thats a lot to unpack…I mean, 1. Maybe stop sleeping with your boyfriends roommate, because that will get really messy and will come out sooner or later, my guess would be at Coachella in some grand gay drama tear stained moment right before Brittany Howard takes to the stage. 2. I can’t get a guy to buy me extra sweet and sour sauce at McDonalds, let alone Coachella tickets, but I think you know the answer… using someone for material things, is NOT a cute look. Tidy up your life babe, this sounds like nine miles of bad road. 

Said with Love BF

Hey Idiot,

How long can my girlfriend’s ex live on our couch? We’ve been living together for three months, and for the past three weeks, she has “crashed” with us. I am trying to be patient, but this is the kind of lesbian telenovela that I didn’t sign up for. 

Thanks, Izzy

Hey Izzy, 

Pack her shit up now! Three weeks? Hello! That is way too long, and it will start to damage, (if it hasn’t already) your current relationship. I would agree on a date asap and stick to it. Y’all ain’t babysitting over there, and furthermore, the ex knows what they are doing, nobody moves in with their ex and their current partner, and thinks, “Hey this could work.” Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. Think of the cats! (Lesbian joke, sorry I had to! XOXO)

Best of Luck Izzy

Hey Idiot, 

How many orgies in one weekend, makes you a slut? Asking for a friend, and the friend is me.

Thanks

In Heat

Hi In Heat,

Ummmmm, well in Roman times it was quite common…sadly, this is not Roman times. Honestly, as long as you are people proactive with your health and the partners around you, “Get In There” (one of my favorite sayings.”) Emotional detachment from sex can be a slippery slope (see how I did that), but as long as you are clear on what your intentions are both, mentally and physically, go have fun. Slut is such a fun word now anyway, and please don’t label yourself, think of it more as a sexual renaissance! Be safe, have fun, and be you. However, to answer your question directly, four.

XO

BF

Dear Idiot, 

How can I get WEHO Pride tickets? I’m kinda broke but the lineup is awesome. I need an in, you know everyone don’t you? 

Hook Up a Gurl Up!

Hello, Hook a Gurl Up!

My Darling, there are ways to enjoy WEHO Pride, all prides in fact! You need to tap into your commuting! Volunteer! Find out who needs what and go help out. I get you want to go and party and have friends with friends, but maybe you can connect with some new people and see how you can become part of the festival, and maybe even make some extra coin in the process. But to answer your question, YES, I do know everyone and NO, I can’t get you in to meet Kylie. XO

Thank you, my darlings! Keep the emails coming. I get such a kick out of them and of course JOY! We are all in it together! Email me at Theadviceidiot@gmail.com.