Malachi McCaskill is Caught in a Strange Loop

This June, the Tony Award and Pulitzer-winning Strange Loop comes to the Ahmanson Theatre in Los Angeles. Written by Michael R. Jackson, this hard-hitting and provocative musical centers around Usher, a young, gay, Black writer who writes a musical about a young, gay, Black writer who is writing a musical about a young, gay, Black writer…thus a strange loop. Usher embarks on a journey of self-discovery covering the raw aspects of life, the good and the bad, while dealing with his Thoughts, personified by a unique cast of characters. Having just wrapped up a run at San Francisco’s ACT, this production highlights a fresh face to the scene via North Carolina, queer performer Malachi McCaskill as Usher. Like Usher, Malachi is finding his way through life and professional theatre as a young, queer, Black performer.

Raised in North Carolina, Malachi started singing and studying his voice at church. In high school, he was in the Chamber Ensemble and played football. Junior year, he would experience theatre and his life would never be the same again.

We did Rogers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella and I got cast as Topfer (The Prince), ever since then I said, you know what? This is for me. All the accolades and everybody loving me and using my voice and entertaining the masses was just something that I loved doing at that time. So, I decided then my junior year in high school after that show that this was the thing for me.

What was it like for Malachi to fit in at school in a North Carolinian environment while dealing with the assumptions of what a Black man should be like, and while coming into his queerness?

For lack of a better word – difficult. I struggled with knowing who I was and feeling how I felt, which was just like this big loud, happy person and the queerness in me wanting to come out, but also just having the religious background of being a Christian and them telling me that boys don’t do this and boys should wear that, and boys shouldn’t play with these certain toys, boys should play with these toys and boys don’t sing, boys don’t dance, they play football and sports. So, I had a hard time struggling on the inside to be who I was and actually trying to express what everybody else wanted me to do. That also carried on into my life, not only as an adolescent in elementary school and high school, but it also carried into college as well.

It was a similar parallel that me and Usher had; I had my inner white girl as well, dying to come out and express who I really was, but also having the judgment of my community, the black community, and just wanting to be myself. The judgment was real. I didn’t know how to express those emotions and, to tell you the truth, this is a life-changing role because it has shown me that I can express myself in any way that I want to and it doesn’t matter how everybody else perceives me, it only matters how I perceive myself.

Malachi is currently a junior at UNC Greensboro getting his degree in Musical Theatre and performs at The North Carolina Theatre. His whole life has been in North Carolina. How did a North Carolinian college student come to star in one of the most anticipated West Coast performances?

I ask myself that every single day. It happened so quickly. First of all, I got introduced to the show in my sophomore year by a friend, and I stayed up one night listening to the whole soundtrack until 4:00 am and I said, you know what? This is the role for me. By the end of the soundtrack, I was bawling, and I said, this is it for me, this is Malachi personified. I’d never seen it before, never seen the story be told before. Shortly after that, in 2023, I saw that The Telsey Office posted a nationwide call for Usher. So, I sent in my videos, they liked it, and I sent in a dance reel for them. They called me and emailed me as well, saying that they would love me to come to New York to do a callback. I went to New York, and I read my sides and I sang the songs and I got cast as Usher! It’s all about manifestation to me. You hold a lot of power in your tongue. I like to say I have affirmations, I have manifestations, a dream board, and everything else. I always like to put it in the atmosphere and put it in the universe because everything that you put in the universe always comes back to you.

With the show already having been a hit on Broadway and with Malachi being an avid listener to the show’s recording, what was his creative process in making Usher his own?

I started on myself. Some of the things that Usher has been through are parallel to what I’ve experienced in my life. I got the script a month in advance so before coming out, I read the script and I said, okay, how does this experience that Usher goes through parallel in Malachi’s life? So, figuring out my strange loop, per se, helped me figure out how to tell Usher’s Strange Loop a little bit more honestly. Once I figured out that in myself and my experiences, and I brought my experiences into the role of Usher, it became easy to tell it.

Strange Loop does not shy away from real issues and hot topics affecting the queer, Black community. It highlights some blatant societal pressures and the pressures we put on ourselves as queer people. What does Malachi think the message of the show is?

The message of Strange Loop is just how you perceive yourself to be that of what you think the world perceives you. Usher struggles with self-image. He thinks he’s not good enough, he thinks he is ugly, but in all actuality, he is beautiful. He’s beautiful inside and out. If he could just believe that about himself, it doesn’t even matter what the world will think. If you believe that you are beautiful, the world will think you are beautiful as well. So, if anybody can take anything away from the show, it’s to think that you are beautiful first, not worrying about what everybody else thinks of you. Think that about yourself first, and your light will shine even brighter, and then people will see your light.

Malachi McCaskill in “A Strange Loop” at Center Theatre Group’s Ahmanson Theatre June 5 through June 30, 2024. Photo by Alessandra Mello.

From L to R: Avionce Hoyles, J. Cameron Barnett, Malachi McCaskill, Jamari Johnson Williams, Jordan Barbour, and John-Andrew Morrison in “A Strange Loop” at Center Theatre Group’s Ahmanson Theatre June 5 through June 30, 2024. Photo by Alessandra Mello.

Tara Conner Jones, J. Cameron Barnett, and Jordan Barbour in “A Strange Loop” at Center Theatre Group’s Ahmanson Theatre June 5 through June 30, 2024. Photo by Alessandra Mello.

From L to R: J. Cameron Barnett, Tarra Conner Jones, Jordan Barbour, Malachi McCaskill, Avionce Hoyles, John-Andrew Morrison, and Jamari Johnson Williams in “A Strange Loop” at Center Theatre Group’s Ahmanson Theatre June 5 through June 30, 2024. Photo by Alessandra Mello.

From L to R: Avionce Hoyles, Jordan Barbour, J. Cameron Barnett, Tarra Conner Jones, John-Andrew Morrison, and Jamari Johnson Williams in “A Strange Loop” at Center Theatre Group’s Ahmanson Theatre June 5 through June 30, 2024. Photo by Alessandra Mello.

Strange Loop deals with the reality of being a Black man in the entertainment industry. From Malachi’s perspective, what is the reality of being a Black man in the industry?

People take Black queerness as kind of a joke sometimes. From the things that I’ve seen, the black queer was always a sidekick instead of the main character. And in the show that we see he’s the center of everything. And it’s different from what we even see on Broadway and on TV, like the sidekick, or we see the leads of Broadway shows and movies as perfect in a certain way, perfect body, perfect mentally. But we see Usher, he’s just a normal, regular big black queer guy, which is different to see. I’m glad that they get to see the differences between what we actually go through in our heads and the internal struggle and the battle that we have dealing with Christianity and struggling with who we’re told to be and who we actually are.

Strange Loop comes to Los Angeles hot off its run, and Malachi’s debut, at ACT in San Francisco. Having never been on the West Coast or being the lead in such a big show, Malachi learned a lot from his first run as Usher.

I learned that you must take really good care of your body, especially doing a role that is so heavy emotionally, you have to take care of your mind, body, and soul. I’m lucky enough to have a beautiful crew and production company and cast that helped me throughout this process. Up until this point, I’ve always had a happy-go-lucky role. I’m just a junior, a rising senior in college, but this role is so heavy, that the line started blurring a little bit. I had to take the time to come home and wash Usher off my body, de-role a little bit so I could go back to being Malachi instead of Usher. Although we are similar, there are some things that I’ve worked through personally that Usher is still going through that I don’t want to come back into my life at all. I have to sustain ways to take care of my body and my voice. I just started training for musical theater three years ago, so I’m still working out the kinks in my vocal agility and my vocal abilities. Luckily, I have found those ways with the love and support of my company.

Going from iconic theatre to iconic theatre, the ACT to the Ahmanson, all eyes are certainly on this West Coast newbie. Is he nervous about his LA run?

I think if I can just be myself while out there and just let people know that I’m just a genuinely nice person, that they’ll see me and just be like, okay, he’s pretty cool… nervous of course, but this is his first time being out here, so let’s take it a little easy on him. I’m hoping that’s what happens.

How has playing Usher changed Malachi the most?

Identifying all of the thoughts that Usher has, made me identify all the thoughts that I have in my head. I can actually talk to these thoughts and combat the negative ones and pull the positive ones to the forefront. All of this has made my self-image more positive, which was also something that I’ve struggled with. He’s made me realize that I don’t need to change, I just need to regroup. [Laughs] I am beautiful the way that I am, I don’t have to change for anybody. Everybody’s perception of me is their own perception. My grandmother used to say that what somebody else thinks of you is not your business. It is not my business at all. I just need to worry about myself and focus on myself and what makes Malachi happy and what about myself makes me happy and just live in those things.

And Malachi’s message to the community this Pride season?

BE WHO YOU ARE for your pride. Just love yourself. If nobody else is going to love you, your church, your family, your friends, or anybody else just walking down the street, love yourself first. All the love in the world does not mean a thing unless you love yourself first. So please do that.

Follow Malachi on IG: @MalachiMcCaskill

Strange Loop runs at The Ahmanson JUNE 5 – 30, 2024