David Archuleta is Finding His Voice

Last year, hours before kicking off his OK, All Right tour, performer David Archuleta had to cancel his appearance as well as his tour. His fans were shocked as the singer announced that he had ruptured a vocal cord, unsure of when he would sing again. His tour was to kick off just weeks after his very emotional social media video during which he shared that he intended to live a more authentic life as a gay man.

After a time of physical and mental healing, Archuleta has emerged with a voice stronger than ever, both literally and figurately. Not only did he star in his first professional musical theatre appearance in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but he released his latest single and music video “Faith in Me,” and is on tour with his intimate holiday show The More the Merrier. Hard to believe that he first made a splash almost 15 years ago on American Idol as 44 million votes made him runner-up in Season 7. Since then, he has enjoyed success after success with Billboard charting hits, sold-out tours, and a fan base that continues to thrive. Now, after all this time, David isn’t hiding anymore. He is sharing his story, his struggles, and his sexuality in a candid way that we have never seen before. Why now?

I guess it’s the way I was raised. I was always raised to share my beliefs and share what was important to me and so, even though I’ve had a shift in what I believe, I still hold to that core, the principle of sharing and being real, being authentic. It’s kind of hard for me to exist without being authentic; trying to be something I’m not feels very incomplete. So, I’m like, the more I figure myself out, the more I just need to get it out there and share it so that I can continue being myself and connecting with people. I feel like the ultimate goal is connecting with other people, whether that’s through music, talking, get-togethers, or the arts. I feel like it’s all about connecting with other people, I feel like the best way to do that, the most fulfilling way to do it, is to be authentic.

American Idol had instructed Archuleta to be outspoken, to shine his light. He went from being outspoken about being Mormon to talking about his blossoming sexuality, even at the risk of losing his fans.

A lot of people would say, well, why don’t you just keep it to yourself? This is an important thing because people made such a big deal about it being bad and being wrong, even calling it something that’s evil. And I felt I didn’t want people to think I’m evil just because I’m allowing this part of myself to come forward and not try so hard to push it down and suppress it and pray that it be taken away from me. I want people to understand where I’m coming from.

I was afraid that people were going to reject me. I was afraid that people were going to think, oh, we don’t want to see this anymore. Because that’s how I dealt with LGBT anything. It might tempt me, it might pull me away, lead me astray. So, I thought maybe when I was realizing that’s not the case, but maybe people are going to think that of me, that I’m going to pull them away, lead them down this dark, dirty path, I was like, I just have to be myself. I have to be real because I want to be accepted for who I am. I don’t want to be accepted because people think I look good for them.

David was devastated as his voice began to deteriorate. After postponed dates and the ultimate tour cancellation, David had to make a full stop. His vocal cord was ruptured, and he had nodules, what was happening?

I think it probably was just a lot of stress. It was manifesting itself in my voice. I don’t think I knew how to identify myself anymore because I was going through a bit of a faith crisis and I didn’t know what to think of myself anymore, what to think of my beliefs, because my beliefs with Latter Day Saints and with Mormons, it’s kind of like, it’s either true or it’s not. You accept all of it as real, the real deal, or it’s not, it’s not just like a nice concept to live by. I didn’t know how to live in both worlds because I was trying to be like, why can’t I just be how I am? There are so many people like me who are queer, part of the LGBTQ+ community who are hurting. They are trying to stay here, but everyone keeps feeling like they’re getting pushed away because people don’t want to acknowledge them, they don’t want to deal with their problems, and they don’t want to deal with their hurt. Maybe they think it’s better if they just kind of disappear and go off and then we can make whatever assumptions we want of them. Like, oh, they just gave up, or they just lost their belief, or they just preferred to be sexual and lustful over being a good person. I thought, wait a second. That’s why I have to share what I’m going through because I know I’m not the only one going through it. And when I did, some of my church leaders were fully supportive, but then other church leaders who were higher up that were just kind of like, well, maybe it’s okay for you to date guys, but you can’t marry because that’s unnatural and that’s against the way God designed things.

I asked them questions and presented where I was coming from. I tried to get married, I tried to do that, because they were saying, well, maybe it’s okay for you to still be attracted to men, but you still should marry a woman. I’ve tried that three times. I bought three engagement rings. I tried to move forward with that, but it’s hard to be honest. My exes would say, why you’re so cold? There’s something strange that just doesn’t feel right. I am doing everything I can, I don’t know what else I’m supposed to be doing. And so, I tried to present those issues to them, and they would be like, well, we don’t know what to tell you in a sense. I’m like, shouldn’t something be done? Because there are a lot of people hurting, A lot of people are thinking it’s better for them to end their lives than to accept that they’re queer or LGBT in any form.

If this is about bringing people in and saving them and rescuing them, why are you letting this whole entire group of people just go away feeling horrible about themselves? And they didn’t really have any answers for me, and it just seemed like it was something they didn’t want to talk about. If this is about godliness and love, I don’t feel like that’s a godly decision. And I don’t think it’s a loving decision. If we’re believing in a Savior, in Christ, who said He left the 99 to go after the one, I’m like, this is the LGBT sheep, that’s the lost one, and you’re just letting it go. I asked a lot of things and they had no answers. My thought is they are too afraid to go to a place, you know, admit that maybe there are some faults in the way our beliefs are.

With his newly found voice and confidence in his relationship with his faith, David was ready to challenge himself. This summer he starred in Tuacahn Amphitheatre’s production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, for a multi-week run. Even this consummate live performer had some trepidation in taking on the iconic role.

To be honest, I was really hesitant. I was really scared. I’d never done theater before; it seemed like a lot. My manager’s mom said, “I just want to see David in the role of Joseph before I die!” And so, when this opportunity came and they’re like, hey, would you be Joseph? I said I guess I can for Carrie’s mom. But I got so much more out of it. It went from, well, I’m going to do this for the sake of fulfilling this wish that my manager’s mom had, to having so much fun. I loved it. I felt like I belonged, I felt like I was home on that theater stage. I’m not the greatest actor, but the music telling a story with this whole cast is amazing.

The biggest challenge was just being comfortable being theatrical, getting into character, and into emotions. The acting side always intimidates me, it’s not something that comes completely naturally to me, but I think it was easier because Andrew Lloyd Weber’s musicals are basically sung entirely. There are no speaking parts, if there are any, it’s very few. And that made it a good segue into the theater world for me because my acting was accompanied by music. I could sing my acting but having to do the choreography and stuff was different for me. I do the little spins in the coat and learn staging. All that stuff. I mean, we had to do some for American Idol staging, but it’s nothing like the theater world. But I had so much fun.

David Archuleta (Photo Credit: Paper Airplanes Photography)

Having fun and feeling liberated is center stage in David’s music. His latest single “Faith in Me” is a most relaxed, fluid, and joyful David than what we’ve seen before.

I wanted it to feel liberating to be free and fun. I wanted it to feel like you’re dancing around in your room by yourself like no one’s watching, kind of a feeling where you just don’t care what anyone thinks. I wanted to capture that emotion of not caring what anyone thinks because I care so much about what everyone thought of me, especially when it came to my sexuality. I was so self-conscious. I was ashamed of it. I felt guilty, I felt like I needed to change it; and if I couldn’t change it, I needed to work as hard as I could to hide it and push it down, suppress it. So, to let it come out and just experience it fully, see what it’s like to like a guy and not feel ashamed about it, but feel the beauty of it, the excitement, the wonderful feelings, and the butterflies you can feel, it was liberating. The lyric says “Who cares what anyone else will say?” I wanted it to feel like that. So even if the people aren’t coming out, I just wanted it to feel like I’m going to dance in my room to this song like no one’s watching. And the video is the same feeling.

David actually had to rewrite the song he had originally started working on before he came out. Reworking the song is a literal mirror of his personal life.

I was dating a girl. I was dating my last ex-fiancée when I had written it, and it still had a fun feeling to it. It had an eighties vibe, but then it went downhill. LOL. I let her know, and I said, “Hey, I think I need to date guys, and I need to end this relationship. I need to see what that’s like.” Then I came out a few weeks after that and then the song was just put on the shelf for a year. And then I was like, but I love the fun carefree element to this song. So, I rewrote the verses and the pre-chorus, and we changed the production to give it a little more kind of rock pop, rock alternative feel to it. I rewrote it so it could fit where I was at in life, which is that I had come out and it had been a year since I’d come out and what it felt like, what it feels like to have feelings for someone you are excited to like, and the sensation and just going for it. No rules, no stops.

David is shifting the narrative. His holiday The More the Merrier tour will be a very different experience for his fans.

I usually went with this grandiose kind of epic feeling of Christmas songs in my previous shows. I wanted to do a different take just because I’m in a different part of my life now. I’ve had a bit of a faith crisis and a faith journey. So, I wanted to take a step back; still capture the awe and wonder of Christmas, but looking at it as an adult now, more of reminiscing on that awe and wonder of the Christmas story and Christmastime and the presents and Santa Claus. Everything was so magical. I think when you get older, a lot of those elements are taken away. It’s not as magical as it was before. I’m going to be more intimate. I’m still debating, it might be just me on the stage, just to make it feel like a living room experience. Kind of like looking back and you’re talking with your family in the family room. Just taking a more chill take on Christmas shows. I’ll still do vocal stuff, but I just want to keep it more intimate this time with the setlist and everything.

And David’s holiday message to his fans?

I’m just blown away by how supportive they’ve been. Thank you so much for going through this journey with me. Some parts of it were scary for me. It was hard to come to terms with myself, to accept my sexuality, to talk about it openly, and share it with other people. So, I’m just thankful that people are willing to listen and let me grow in front of everybody. When I was a teenager, people watched me grow and now I’m just growing in another way, in front of everybody. Thank you for listening to my music, supporting me in that way, but also supporting me in my personal life changes as well. It means the world.

Follow all things David at DavidArchuleta.com