Is it November Yet?

Hello My Sweet Tap Dancing Angels! 

So much is happening as summer flies by, and I just keep thinking about all the Botox and filler I’m going to need after passing out in my neighbor’s yard all season… Lurd, their poor lawn flamingo, if that things winds up pregnant…

Thank you for the emails and please keep ‘em coming at theadviceidiot@gmail.com. Let’s get into a few topics that I loved this month! 

Dear Idiot,

Help! How am I going to deal with posts, comments, friends, family with all the political posts that are bombarding every time I open my phone, social media, turn on the TV? I feel like they are trying to drive us crazy, and when I do try and distance myself from it, I feel like I am burying my head in the sand, and not being “aware” of the world around me. Obviously, it is giving me anxiety and I feel like a lot of people must feel this way. 

How do u handle the political circus we live in?

Thanks!

Is it November Yet?

Dear Is It November Yet?

OK, for starters… breathe deeply!

I do get it, it’s a lot for sure, and to your point, yes, they are trying to drive us crazy.

I have a few things I do, but then again I always do these, regardless of an election or anything else going on in the world…

Turn off the alerts on the phone for starters. People tell me, “Oh I don’t want to miss anything….” Trust me, you won’t. There is always more nonsense and noise that will try and disrupt your inner harmony, and of course it will be there when u tap back in. 

Set up some guidelines for you, I mean really look at it like you are making a schedule for a kid obsessed with mine craft, (is that still a thing?), and adhere to a schedule of serenity for yourself!

Do not engage with those who want to prove 2 plus 2 is 7… step away, lots of deep, like DEEP breaths, and I promise you the anxiety and distress will start to fade. You are you and no government, or political view will change that. Keep your calmness as sacred as you need too. There will always be a number of external forces that are overwhelming and stress causing. The only real way to combat that is to take mental breaks for yourself. 

I hope this helps love, because it is going to be a long few months, and besides, the Roman Empire was around for thousands of years… we’re just kids in the grand scheme of things. 

XO

Hey Idiot, 

My Dad passed about a year ago. My Mom is still with us, and recently (at least I think recently) has started dating this guy. She let my sister and I know, and I am having a great deal of trouble with it. I feel like she has been seeing him longer than she has let on. My sister has my mother’s location on the phone, so we can be there for an emergency, and saw that my Mom spent the night at this guy’s house. She doesn’t know we know. When I tried to talk to her, it wasn’t something that she was open to. The whole situation is making me have ALL the feelings, not sure what to do. What do you got for me?

Thanks Brett 

Hey Brett, 

So sorry to hear about your Dads passing. Let’s talk Mom! I can’t imagine losing a parent and dread that all the time, so I don’t want to pretend to know what that is like. I will tell you this, my parents and I are super close, I mean like “friends” close, and I talk to them all the time about anything. I realize that this isn’t how most people are with their folks, what helped me many years ago, was to stop looking at my Mom & Dad as “parents” and start looking at them like people. Are these people I would want to know if they weren’t my parents… for me the answer is yes. With that, I started to look at their lives differently. Everyone has dreams and goals and regrets and all that stuff that makes life what it is. It’s difficult for sure when you see your parents as a couple, or not as “individuals,” but honestly, that is what they are, and were, before becoming “Mom”.  A few things to remember, your Mom is navigating this as well. I love that you are trying to talk to her. It may be a new experience for your Mom and she isn’t sure how to unpack it while wearing the Mom hat. As for the tracking phone thing… yikes! Don’t go looking for answers you don’t really want to know. I get having it for the emergency thing, I have that for my folks too, however, this isn’t a great way to show trust and understanding. I would try and be there for your Mom and let her know you are open to a safe space of taking, of course assuming you are. Life keeps moving, it doesn’t necessarily care if we are ready to handle it or not, it just moves. Communication is key in any relationship, take some small steps, keep talking to Mom and maybe in the future you can meet this person your Mom is spending time with. 

I hope that helps love. XO

Well Dolls, I love the emails I get, and I love reading and responding to you all either in the column or privately. Please keep um coming, I ain’t going nowheres and after all…I am a GENIUS. Is that how you spell it?! XO