Aydian Ethan Dowling

Aydian Ethan Dowling:  A Man for All Seasons

“If you love yourself, you will never be alone.”

By Nicholas Snow

You are most likely among the millions of people aware of the extraordinary journey of Aydian Ethan Dowling, “transgender activist, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, fitness lover and husband,” echoed from the headline of his website. Here, we also learn: “Aydian documented his own transition on YouTube as a way to voice his thoughts, fears and successes; as well as offer a support mechanism for others looking to transition. His channel, ALionsFears, quickly became popular and, to date, has over 300 videos, reaches over 35,000 followers, and has more than 3.4 million views—not including his over 100,000 followers via his motivational Instagram page, @ALionsFear.”

In addition to being on the cover of GED Magazine, Aydian has also been featured as the first transgender male on the cover of Men’s Health Magazine. Aydian has also been granted the title of International Grand Marshall for Toronto Pride (upcoming), is the first Transgender person named as IGM, and is set to share the stage with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, all adding up to a history-making pride festival.”  In addition, of course, there is that appearance on the Ellen show.

That is what you know.  In my recent deep-dive exclusive interview, I wanted to discover things about Aydian you have never heard and may never have guessed, and that he may be sharing for the first time. Ready, set, go!

Greatest Fears

“My greatest fears growing up were ‘never falling in love’ and ‘death’,” reveals Aydian.  “I had a large fear of life after death when I was extremely young. I would make my mother lay with me when I was falling asleep because I was always scared of never waking up. Which, in reality, is somewhat ironic being that when I got a bit older, around the age of 13, I welcomed death as a sign of relief to the struggles of being on earth. I even tried to take my own life in my later teenage years but as I reflect back now, I am very happy I was not successful!”

He adds, “My other major fear as a child was ‘never falling in love’.  I am not sure why I had this large fear because in all the movies, everyone falls in love eventually—but I had a sense that no one would love me. I am not sure where it came from but I remember always wishing (as if at birthdays or when a clock read 11:11) that I would fall in love. It was a wish I had been making since I can really remember, maybe as young as five.” Moreover, he continued wishing for this well into his late teenage years. “There is an immense fear in not being loved,” Aydian continues.  “It’s very human. But as I have gotten older I have learned that, as Big Sean says in his song One Man Can Change the World, ‘if you love yourself than you will never be alone.’”

The Power to Be Strong

Expanding upon these fears, Aydian explains, “I always feel a sense of having to reach inside myself and find some deep rooted courage every time I perform my Spoken Word Poetry. My poems can reflect a side of me that is angry or sad, or happy, but all of these feelings are very intense and sometimes hard to fully have a handle on. They are raw and honest, with all fears of ‘what people think’ put to the side. When I put out my Spoken Word on my YouTube channel, I always know it will be subject to major criticism.” He knows that, online, people are blunt and harsh, talking down and criticizing, which “can become quite frightening.”

He continues about performing Spoken Word poetry, “It is such an honest and open experience that it releases any emotions that have been pent up inside of me, and that I know, takes a lot of courage. Another amazing example of great courage is the LGBT community right now in North Carolina fighting the laws passed there where it is now legal to discriminate against the LGBT community,” he says. “In particular, the law created in NC prohibits anyone to use the bathroom of the gender they identify with, and requires by law for all people to use the bathroom of their birth certificate ‘sex’”.

He explains, “A transgender male has to use the woman’s bathroom because of their sex at birth.  These people are standing up for their right to have human needs met, like using a restroom. They are putting their lives in danger by protesting a law that had a large backing when passed. This is pure courage!” Aydian has great admiration for those who go against the grain, acting on their own integrity, and fighting against these discriminatory laws.

All About Ellen

“Meeting Ellen was a magical moment in my life,” says Aydian, and who wouldn’t have that reaction? (Says me).  “And yes, her eyes are as blue as the Caribbean Sea! I had looked to Ellen as a young lesbian during my teenage years.” Aydian loves the way Ellen took control of her own destiny to become the person she is today.  If you are confused that Aydian just referred to himself as “a young lesbian,” let me break it down for you…

Sexual orientation, gender identity, biology and physical appearance are all separate issues, and one does not dictate the other.  In the case of most transgender people I have met, their sexual orientation has been consistent, while the way they embrace, identify and express their gender has changed.  Therefore, in Aydian’s case, “she” was living as a woman, attracted to women, and therefore identifying as lesbian.  Now he is a man, and therefore heterosexual.  Got it?

And by the way, Aydian was never really a “she” or a “her” even though her biology may have indicated that.  He was always a man, and simply had to discover, accept, express and own this.  (This is my take, based upon all of my research into the issue).  The transformation is the person’s discovery and expression of their true, authentic gender.

About that meeting with Ellen, Aydian adds, “She held herself in such power yet was very much approachable to the ‘everyday person’. She turned to me during a commercial break and expressed how important this topic was to her, and how she wanted her viewers to be exposed to all kinds of people, and that she fully supported the entire transgender community and me. That meant a lot to me! Someone that I look up to, telling me that she is proud of what I am doing and continue to do. Wow!”

Prime Time

Now, I am very jealous of one thing on Aydian’s calendar… his upcoming meeting with Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau!  He explains, “I am very excited to be meeting Prime Minister Trudeau this year at Toronto Pride! It is very special to me that such a leader, as young in both age and his time as PM, has taken such courageous steps to support equality in the LGBT+ world in Canada. It will be very inspiring to meet such an ally like Prime Minister Trudeau. I believe he is setting a precedent for all future leaders of, not just Canada, but the world, about how to be an open and accepting leader…”

Role Models

Aydian inspires millions of people.  Who inspires him?  Many people, of course, but he shared in detail about three:

“First, my mother Anna Marie inspired me at a young age to be strong and self-sufficient. Being a single mother raising three children while also working two to three jobs is tough, to say the least,” says Aydian.  “But my mother always made her children feel like they were first in her book. No matter what, she did her best to show up to school concerts, softball games when she could, and it was very important to her to have dinner on the table every night.  She showed me what it means to have core values of caring for those you love.  She also took in many friends of my brother’s, and mine to help shelter them when they had none, and cloth and feed them when needed. She taught me all I know on how to give back to those less fortunate.”

“Another amazing woman who has shown me my worthiness is my wife, Jenilee,” Aydian continues.  “Jenilee is an energy healer and she has opened up the spiritual world to me. She was one of the first people in my life to tell me I deserved to be here, and to be happy. She taught me what it means to manifest your dreams and how to envision your future into reality. She has helped and continues to help guide me into a world of balance between all things both good and bad. Without Jenilee in my life,” he continues, “I may never have had the courage to look myself in my eyes and demand from myself the respect and love I so easily give to others.”

“One more powerful leader on a much larger scale is motivational speaker, Les Brown,” he adds.  (Called “one of the world’s most renowned motivational speakers.”  See LesBrown.com).

“Although I have never met Les Brown, he has been with me during some of hardest times these last few years. Through his work, he has inspired me to believe in myself when I felt unworthy. He has also shown me, through his own story of self-discovery, that our lives are our choice. We must make the best choices for ourselves and for our dreams. It is up to us to remain hungry in our goals and desires for life. His speeches are always there for me whenever I need them and I hope to, one day, meeting Mr. Les Brown.”

Words of Wisdom

I asked Aydian to impart a few pieces of advice to people who are trapped in families, lives and communities where they are stifled and/or misunderstood, and to share his experience, strength and hope with these individuals in mind.

“My biggest advice to those struggling right now would be to find your community,” he responds.  “When you have people who can relate to you, listen to you, and share in your sadness and happiness, you will always find a ‘home’ somewhere… even if it is not with your blood family. Having a support system is literally a lifesaver. I used to feel so so alone when I first discovered my transgender identity.” About that moment seven years ago, he adds, “I had no one who could relate to me, or even understand what I meant. However, when I found an outlet on YouTube of other Trans men going through what I was, even though I was all alone in my room on my computer, I did not feel all alone. It suddenly felt like I wasn’t as crazy as I thought I was! The visibility these very few men where providing by making videos, when it was unheard of to transition, really saved my life. I literally felt as though if these people could do it, so could I. That is what community does.  It makes you feel complete by simply being yourself in a supportive environment.”

And There’s More

And guess what?  Aydian is also an artist, philanthropist and entrepreneur!  His company, Point 5cc, “has become synonymous with showing pride and support for the transgender (and LGBT) community.”

He explains, “Every purchase supports Point of Pride, our non-profit arm that provides our Annual Transgender Surgery Fund and our chest binder and breast form donation programs, as well as other efforts to help trans people in need.  Some folks wear Point 5cc to show their pride in being transgender or a gender non-conforming person. Some folks purchase products to show their support of family and friends.”

He adds, “We have always aimed to create high-quality, trans-inspired clothes that build community and support equality and awareness. We also aim to have a variety of products that allow folks of all backgrounds, especially stealth folks or people who have not yet come out, to feel safe and comfortable.” Surprise… every shirt is screened, with love, by hand, by creator Aydian Dowling.

Reflecting back on those fears that once caused Aydian to take his own life, he concludes, “It took me almost 23 years to learn that the love I yearned for was not of the love of someone but rather to learn to love myself. Luckily I am learning new ways to love myself every day.”

Thank you for being you, Aydian!  Among his upcoming appearances, Aydian will be a special guest at the June 28^th, 2016 Trans-Pride Palm Springs celebrations.  For more information, check out www.transcc.org.

Aydian’s websites of interest:  www.aydianethandowling.com, www.point5cc.com, and www.pointofpride.com. Nicholas Snow is in his forth decade of multimedia entertainment activism.  Find him at www.PromoHomo.TV.